Monday, 25 January 2016

FRESH START MENTALLY: Self-awareness

Welcome back Viphilus*

My final post for our fresh-start month is about looking into our mind and becoming aware of what we see.

I have already written quite a bit about this last year and I encourage you to take a look at (perhaps again) my posts on March 23 and November 2 if you desire something more. Both of those posts are actually more comprehensive than what I’m going to do here today. Today I’m keeping it incredibly simple. All I’m suggesting is that you ask yourself five (5) deeply personal questions … but spend as much time as humanly possible on doing the research about yourself to find the answers. In the end, the more you learn, the more transformative it will be for you.

The questions are alarmingly innocuous and, well …. dis-alarming. But very wise people have literally recreated themselves when they have used these questions as powerful tools. With each question I have included a corollary question to deepen your sense of why the question might be important to you.

In your fresh-start for 2016, try taking them seriously. Ready?  OK, here we go. 


1.    What would you do if you weren’t afraid? (is the life you are living worth what you are giving up to have it?)

2.    What/who is at your centre? (what is the reason why you do what you do)?

3.    What’s the best day that you have had at work in the last 6-12 months and what made it so good (do you know how to repeat it)?

4.    What is your best practice for recovering and even building personal energy (and is it actually working for you?)

5.    If your personal beliefs, principles and convictions were suddenly declared by society to be illegal, would there be enough evidence to convict you, based on your actions alone? (do your principles and convictions serve as a personal gyroscope for your behaviour?)

None of those questions are my invention. I am sharing them with you because they were some of the key questions presented to me which helped spawn my rebirth as an engaged human being 10-12 years ago.

OK that’s it Viphilus … see you next month as I begin looking at the core truths behind Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings,

Your friend, Omega Man



* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

Monday, 18 January 2016

FRESH START SPIRITUALLY: Simplicity

Welcome back Viphilus*

Simplicity is the supreme excellence. It is a spiritual discipline. So why then do people think they can only learn this from a “business book?"

OK, got a wee bit ahead of myself … I’ll come back to that thought.

At its root, simplicity is about keeping life free of obligations and things which draw you off your proper life-path … the purpose and simple single-minded thing which is what you are supposed to do.

In the 1960s, a TV show took America by storm as it sought to capture the conflict between our shallow desires for the complex trappings of modern life and our deep desire for the simple life: “Green Acres.” But this wasn’t the first time that man had acknowledged the need to pursue simplicity. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) made the now-famous statement, “Our life is frittered away by detail … Simplify! simplify! simplify!” … Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.” At a young age Thoreau demonstrated wisdom beyond his age when he wrote, Walden, a reflection upon simple living in natural surroundings. He was also quoted to say, “as you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

Let me bathe you in even more quotes because this theme has captured our hearts since the beginning of time.

“I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.” – Albert Einstein

“The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are more important to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.” – Thomas More

“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: these are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy.” – Richard Halloway

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” – Hans Hoffman

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”  – Antoine de Saint-ExupĂ©ry

The training that I provide for transformational living is built on the premise that you need to move in the direction of simplicity. But to do so ironically involves the complex process of adding new burdens of structured time and structured effort in order to figure out what you ARE doing, what you need to STOP doing, and what you need to START doing, in order to develop a simple life.

But … why the NEED for simplicity?

Our lives are complex and fraught with trouble because we make them that way. We load ourselves down with too many obligations, too many responsibilities, too many things, too much stuff, too many #1 priorities … and like the juggler who frantically tries juggling more than he can juggle, many/all things get dropped when we exceed our capacity.

Warning – Christian stuff ahead, but it’s worth hanging in there if this kind of spirituality isn’t your cup of tea … I promise. You’ll get my point in a few paragraphs.

Christian teachers (the real gurus), have been trying to teach us this for centuries. Richard Foster has a sobering rant in his 1978, Celebration of Discipline: “We crave things we neither need nor enjoy. We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like. Where planned obsolescence leaves off, psychological obsolescence takes over. We are made to feel ashamed to wear clothes or drive cars until they are worn out. The mass media have convinced us that to be out of step with fashion is to be out of step with reality … until we see how unbalanced our culture has become at this point we will not be able to deal with the mammon (materialistic) spirit within ourselves nor will we desire Christian simplicity.” In Freedom of Simplicity, Foster indicts, "Stop trying to impress people with your clothes and impress them with your life."

Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:24 and 6:33 that we need to keep things simple and figure out which master we’re going to serve, because trying to serve more than one just doesn’t work. Jesus suggests a simple approach which brings all things in line for us: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matt.6:33)   Wise man, that Jesus!  Let’s put that quote in a box to draw attention to it.






What’s He saying? When you read the surrounding text for the fuller context, it’s clear; when we simplify our life, the things and events of life become richer, because we have the freedom of time and mind to enjoy them. And when we make Christ the centre of our life and pursue Him with a singleness of mind and heart, the distinction between URGENT and IMPORTANT stand out (I discussed these in my blog last March 9 and March 16).

Foster cautions us to not be deceived into thinking we can possess the inward reality of simplicity without its having a profound effect on how we live; and to attempt to arrange an outward life-style of simplicity without the inward reality leads to deadly legalism. Kierkegaard’s book title, “Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing,” captures the essence of purpose-based living … with that singleness of mind being holiness: pursuit of a relationship with God through Christ.

To be holy is to be sacred, which is to be sanctified. Something that (or someone who) is sanctified is a thing or person devoted exclusively to the use and purpose of God. This means to have a single purpose. Foster correctly states (hard to believe he wrote this in 1978) that the lack of a single focus around which life is aligned for modern man leaves him fractured and fragmented, “trapped in a maze of competing attachments.” Jesus’ admonition to His followers gives them both the strategy and the tactics … seek God first and the rest will sort itself out. This sounds like the modern business strategy of focusing on outputs (the things we CAN do and control) and hope for the appropriate outcomes (the intended impacts of the chain of outputs). Can it really be this simple? Get your relationship with God sorted out first and then your relationship with everything else in your life will find its proper place? Really? Yes – Scripture is unwavering in this message.

The Apostle Paul cautions us to not get involved in things which draw us off this focus because they distract us and weigh us down with emotional burdens. He gives an extreme example, but it makes the point; he recommends that people don’t get married, but rather, remain single, so that they can use their time fully in the service of God,  rather than losing much of that time and energy to domestic affairs. But he is also realistic … he says that if that cannot be done because of an uncontrollable libido, well then, go ahead and get married. (1 Cor.7:1-7)  His point?  Focusing on one thing is  simpler … and simpler is best.

Not a Christian but still hanging in there? Good … I’m about to connect the dots for you.

All of this makes it clear that a complex life is one which can draw us away from God and threatens our eternal security. But within this life, complexity heaps more stress on us than we can handle, and anxiety is the result. Chronic anxiety is the emotional result of a misdirected spiritual life. Return now to the Matthew 6 passage, but read it in its entirety:  Matthew 6:24-34. Simplicity is the result of a life focused on putting the first thing first: God and His righteousness. Everything else will fall in its proper place and perspective.

And now let me connect the dots!
CEO Magazine named StephenCovey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” as the most influential business book of the 20th century!  OK, soak that in.

the most influential business book of the 20th century!

Why? Because it brought together in one book the key principles and practices for making life work. I understand why business people have glommed onto this book as a business book … but IT IS NOT A BUSINESS BOOK … IT IS A BOOK ABOUT EFFECTIVE LIVING. (sorry for yelling – but it makes me crazy when people short-sightedly see the business context only).

What I like best is Covey’s personal note immediately following the final page of the final chapter … his note about where he got his 7 principles from. He got them from the Bible, although he doesn’t connect chapter and verse to his 7 Habits (I will actually do this in February and March … hope you’ll join me for that ride).

Covey’s HABIT # 3 is about “Putting First Things First,” (in order for other things to sort themselves out in your life). Sounds familiar? It should … you just read above where Covey got that “habit” from: Matthew 6:33.

Simplify!

Before I leave you for this week, let me offer one helpful reflection (note: for my clients I suggest a variety of reflections and rituals, but I gotta keep this blog short).

REFLECTION on SIMPLICITY
Buck Rogers, the IBM executive who took the company’s growth from $250 million to $50 billion describes the secret of their success quite simply; “we’ve just learned how to do the simple things well.” Ponder what this would mean in your life. What are the simple things that you should learn how to do well?

I hope to see you back next Monday when we close out this month by looking at a fresh mental start.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man


* Viphilus means, "lover of life"


Monday, 11 January 2016

FRESH START PHYSICALLY: Intentional Movement

Welcome back Viphilus*

I want our “fresh start” month to have a little bit of everything: physical; emotional; mental and spiritual. Why? Because we are an integration of these 4 things and while we have the ability to speak about them separately, the reality is that they are fused in an inseparably complex way.

Perhaps the best demonstration of your need to recognize the importance of being fully integrated (mind, body, heart and spirit) can be seen through the importance of physicality or simple movement. This is a fact of great importance considering our 21st century western lifestyle which is predominantly sedentary. That lifestyle has led to an obesity epidemic (something I struggle with myself); but that’s not the main reason for being physical … it’s mostly about body chemistry.

The following is written by Chris Jordan in Loehr’s and Groppel’s The Corporate Athlete Advantage: “Almost every cell in your body derives its energy from glucose and oxygen … from the food you eat and the air you breathe. But eating and breathing aren’t enough. The glucose and oxygen must be transported to those cells via blood; not until then is there energy production. Therefore, the circulation of blood plays a vital role in energy production. Anything which compromises blood flow also compromises energy, in essence your ability to function. When blood flow to part of the heart or to the brain is blocked, heart attacks and strokes result! Now, can you think of anything in your life which may impair blood circulation in a daily basis? How about sitting?”

Really?

Below is an excerpt from an elementary school teacher’s handbook, adapted for YOU, the adult.

Besides reducing the risks associated with childhood your obesity, physical activity is important for other reasons. Regular physical activity helps children you build and maintain healthy bones, muscles, and joints; builds lean muscle and reduce fat; prevents or delays the development of high blood pressure; reduces feelings of depression and anxiety; and may, through its effect on mental health, increase students' your capacity for learning.
With these facts in mind, it is imperative that we you, as teachers a self-learner, help reduce the amount of physical inactivity, by increasing the amount of physical activity opportunities that children you have during the school your day. Being physically active not only provides important health benefits, but also provides children you opportunities to learn through movement.

According to that manual, interjecting opportunities for movement in your day maintains and improves the condition of your current and future physical, emotional and mental health. Sitting lowers your metabolism, thus exacerbating feelings of low energy … in all of your dimensions. Just standing from a sitting position doubles your metabolic rate! Physical movement activates the brain and enhances learning. These movements “switch on” the natural brain integration mechanisms that “switch off” when you are under stress. Switching them back on through movement helps combat the very stresses that switched them off in the first place. Therefore, movement may well be life’s simplest stress buster!

While this is fundamental knowledge for teaching children, it’s just as important for you to know this as an adult self-learner. Besides, as an adult, the harsh reality is that you have less time left to “get it right.” Movement is vital for all ages and brings about rapid, far-reaching and lasting changes in fundamental abilities, including: focus, organization, comprehension, physical coordination, social and communication skills, memory, attentiveness, etc. If the movement includes something a bit more strenuous then there are significant physical benefits, such as: improved sleep and prevention of fatigue, physical fitness and a boosted immune system, and a re-energized sex life. Different movements have different types of benefits (aerobic, stretching, strength training, yoga, Tai Chi, to name a few).

Let’s take the discussion of sitting a bit further. Two 2011 studies shed new sobering light on some negative aspects of sitting:
  • the American Cancer Society, who looked at more than 120,000 people over a 14-year period, revealed that women who sit for more than 6 hrs/day were 40% more likely to die during the course of the study than those who sat fewer than 3 hrs/day (men were 20% more likely to die)
  • the American Journal of Epidemiology published a study finding that those who worked a sedentary job have almost twice the risk of a specific type of colon cancer

Obviously, you need to sit. However, you should minimize it when and where possible. Sitting too much or for too long is clearly bad for your health … both short-term and long-term. It will take a purpose-called vigilant mind to keep you on your toes (or at least … off your bottom).

So, as O.N.J. used to sing … this week, “let’s get physical.”

BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT YOUR MOVEMENT – when you stay in one position or place for too long, you feel physical stress. Don’t believe this? Just sit on a plane for 8 hours … you’ll believe it! Lack of movement can add to fatigue and tense muscles, and can contribute to headaches and other pain. As well, your emotions will start becoming compromised. When you have to deal with a stressor (such as: work, a difficult person, the environment, your own negative thinking, etc.), you will also feel physical and mental stress. Physical exercise or movement helps manage it. Practice maintaining an intentional plan of intermittent movement throughout the day; it is one of the key ingredients in a recipe for holistic fitness. This leads me to suggest a

PRIME DIRECTIVE for MOVEMENT
Stimulate your body in the most powerful way you can:  MOVE!

If you need something a bit more prescriptive, then try on these self-imposed rules:

LETHARGY RULE
Once each day, when you feel the most lethargic (“I don’t feel like moving”), override the feeling with pure intention, and get up and move around for at least 2-3 minutes.

90-MINUTE RULE
Never sit for longer than 90 minutes without taking a 2-5 minute walking / movement break (whether at home, work, in the car or on a plane).

2/3-FLOOR RULE
Never take an elevator up 2 floors or down 3 … always walk it. (every year add 1 floor to each of these numbers).

1-KM RULE
Never drive if you can walk it in 10-15 minutes or less (average time to walk 1 km). Note: this will be the hardest rule to implement if you have a car because you likely think your time is more valuable than most other things. Just consider it.


I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man



* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

Monday, 4 January 2016

FRESH START EMOTIONALLY: De-cluttering

Happy New Year Viphilus*

I don’t know whether or not you are a New Year’s resolution kinda person or not. Even those who aren’t still often see January as an opportunity to get a fresh start. Whether or not that is you, I invite you to join me for a one month fresh-start throughout January.

This week I want to talk about DE-CLUTTERING.

(ironically …. I no sooner typed the line that you just read when I got my weekly e-flyer from Staples promoting their Storage Event to help everyone “Conquer the Clutter”)  

The battle against clutter is a battle against disorganization, frustration and chaos. Most people, however, discern neither the real root problem nor the underlying root cause. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me back up a bit first.

Clutter is something that Deb and I have struggled with our entire married life. Like all married couples we each bring strengths and weaknesses to our partnership. One of Deb’s weaknesses is her propensity to be disorderly and disorganized. One of my strengths is to be orderly and organized. [we won’t discuss my faults right now … other than my struggle with the pot & kettle thing – please chuckle at least at that]. One the surface of things this should mean that my strength should help offset her weakness and I can help her.  Ha ha ha ha ha      If life were only that simple.  We are actually MUCH better at the clutter/chaos thing now than we have ever been, but it took things like being empty-nesters, my retirement, trying to sell our house for over a year, entertaining guests once or twice each week (etc.) to enable or force us to keep our home organized. It has also taken some more extreme measures, like doing two huge purges over the last 15 years; once we had professional junk movers haul away 7,000 lbs of STUFF … and another occasion, Deb’s ladies’ group from church did a gentle intervention and just showed up for an entire day to help us purge (pictured below).



Why did I tell you all that? To display my/our experience with the power that clutter can have over you to weigh you down emotionally. Clutter is the sign of a dysfunctional mind and WILL create anxiety. Bottom line: I know what I’m talking about.

Oh … and to get back to the pot calling the kettle black … my propensity for being organized and orderly has greyed out over the years and I have become more like Deb. For years I blamed her for that, but that was just me playing the victim. I mean, there’s no way that I was prepared to blame myself for devolving to her dysfunctional ways, so it had to be “her fault.”  Ha ha ha ha    Man, I was so immature back then. Nope, my devolution was my own doing … I got lazy.   But the happy news is that we are way better now, but we are still a work in progress. What I’d like to share today is what we’ve learned about this: TOGETHER.

We see people all around us are crying out for order and harmony and balance in their lives because they recognize that chaos is ruling and ruining them. Feng shui schools have become all the rage to teach us Westerners the ancient Chinese practice of placement and arrangement of space to achieve harmony with our environment. Why? Because proponents claim that feng shui has an effect on health, wealth, and personal relationships; and you know what … there is something to this. Organizations to help us organize and de-clutter our lives have become very popular and successful and they can give us some valuable tips. [For a couple of good examples, check out www.lifeorganizers.com  and  www.clutterbusters.ca.]

The root problem is hurry-sickness (I touched briefly on this last March 23 when discussing the results of hurry-sickness); many people feel that they have neither the time nor the energy to maintain an orderly home or workspace. But those excuses are simply the result of living a hurried life (not to be confused with a busy life). And the underlying root cause of hurry-sickness? A disordered and disintegrated heart. That’s why psychologists list clutter as an emotional disorder … a mental illness. Therefore, our battle is not against clutter … the real battle is to order and integrate the heart. Our emotional well-being is integral (part of the integrated whole) to a fully functioning character … and ignoring our emotional side (heart) will lead to the disintegration of our character.

Your actions follow your heart, but as Aristotle pointed out, your heart also follows your actions: “You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” You must train your mind, heart, body and spirit through simple actions … as simple as de-cluttering.  In order to beat clutter in  your life, you need simple actions that you blindly obey. Deb and I offer the following to you as a first step ... but maybe you can think about it as a prime directive: a Prime Directive regarding clutter.

Cease setting things down in places that are not their home

Your clutter is simply one reflection of the disordered state of your heart and mind. Clutter around you also feeds back into your mind and heart and opens the door for further disorderliness, but on a deeper level. The following habits are easy-to-practice actions, which, when they become fully-grown into life-habits, have the power to initiate other, more significant habits of orderliness. 


4 RITUALS for DECLUTTERING

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 1
At the end of each day – set aside 5 minutes to declutter / tidy

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 2
Once a week – change your daily 5 minutes into 15 to tidy what your daily rituals missed

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 3
Once a month – change your weekly 15 minutes into 45 to tidy what your weekly rituals missed

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 4
Once a year – take a day to exorcise the excess from your house and plan a better organizational strategy for your “things”


Don’t underestimate the value of these 4 actions, along with the prime directive, in your personal development and training.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man


* Viphilus means, "lover of life"



















Monday, 21 December 2015

2015 Summary in Review

As I wrap up 2015 and wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanted to conclude with a simple recap of what we've looked at. The year-at-a-glance if you will.


Introduction to the Blog (Feb 26) – my weekly blog on effective living, managing and leading was launched just before my 60th birthday. It  is intended to help anyone who is a lover of life (whom I call, Viphilus) learn how to break the self-destructive blocks of self-limiting, self-defeating, and self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours. I am basing everything on the lessons-learned through my own experiences and education.  

SLOWING            - a perspective and a prime directive (Mar 9)
                                - a power principle to understand (Mar 16)
                                - getting to know your elephant Mar 23)
                                - how to S-L-O-W D–O–W-N (Mar 30)

The PIE Principle
 - A Story and a prime directive for engagement (Apr 6)
                                - My own data (Apr 13)
                                - How do you like your PIE? (Apr 20)
                                - Let them eat PIE (Apr 27)

Prime Movers        
- The motivation trinity (May 4)
                                - Being driven (May 11)
                                - Being inspired (May 18)
                                - Being passionate (May 25)

Change
                   - The good, the bad and the ugly: a perspective (Jun 1)
                                - Principles: 5 truths about change (Jun 8)
                                - Personal: Are you a hammer or a nail? (Jun 15)
                                - Practice: Learning to speak elephant (Jun 22)

Elephant Training
- The Ugly Truth about Your Auto-elephant (Jul 6)
                                - Jungle paths: machetes, dynamite and nitro (Jul 13)
                                - Jungle Stories: Old and New (Jul 20)
                                - Jungle Rituals: The Training Ring (Jul 27)

Action Attitudes of Transformation
 - Surrender (Aug 10)
                                                              - Submission (Aug 17)
                                                              - Suffering (Aug 24)
                                                              - Sacrifice (Aug 31)

Says Your Mom 
   - Don’t flatter yourself (Sep 7)
                                - Choose ignorance (Sep 14)
                                - Dangerous half-truths (Sep 21)
                                - Sucking on the chocolate fossil (Sep 28)

Character Building
  - Breathing (Oct 5)
                                   - Feeding (Oct 12)
                                   - Resting (Oct 19)
                                   - Evaluating (Nov 2)
                                   - Exercising for increased capacity (Nov 9)
                                   - Exercising for strength ….. physically (Nov 16)
                                                                         …… emotionally (Nov 19)
                                                                         …… mentally (Nov 20)
                                                                         …… spiritually (Nov 21)
                                   - Exercising for flexibility (Nov 23)
                                   - Exercising for endurance (Nov 30)
                                   - Exercising for resilience (Dec 7)
                                   - Exercising for FREEDOM (Dec 14)


Happy New Year Viphilus ... God willing, see you on January 4, 2016.

Pete - the Omega Man


Monday, 14 December 2015

CHARACTER BUILDING: For Freedom

Welcome back Viphilus*

My blog has had a single focus since the beginning of October: character building. If you look over the titles for the last 2+ months you will see that I have put forward my ideas on how to build character through a focus on:

Breathing
Feeding
Resting
Evaluating
Exercising (there were a lot of sub-posts on this topic)

Do you see it? Look at the list again. Did it jump out at you yet? No? Here’s the list again 


(scroll down)




























(keep scrolling)









































Breathing
Feeding
Resting
Evaluating
Exercising


Did the light bulb go on this time?

Building character is the path to freedom, in its truest sense … that being to be free to think and act according to your intentions and not be hi-jacked to different thoughts or actions. If you want to be free … and I mean really B.F.R.E.E., there is work to do … at least until you develop the habits to make the work (effort) automated within you.

I’ve outlined in considerable detail over the last 10 weeks what is required to build character, and ultimately, a powerful life. Today’s post is simply meant to connect the dots so that you can see that building character requires a holistic approach with targeted effort to build / grow / improve in a number of areas in specific ways.

Please come back next Monday and join me in one final post for 2015.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man



* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

Monday, 7 December 2015

CHARACTER BUILDING: Exercising for Resilience

Welcome back Viphilus*

OK, last time you’ll have to look at the Capacity Table.



Today we are looking at how to build capacity in the marker of resilience. Resilience is a word that I hear thrown around and from the way it is used, I don’t think it is well understood. Resilience is a measure of something’s (or someone’s) capacity to absorb energy upon deflation and recover upon unloading. So you’re saying, “Say whaaaaaa?”

Clearly, from that dictionary definition, resilience is a term used in the field of engineering. How about this version: it is the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity. No? OK, try this one:

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.

Resilience is a measure of toughness. Do you remember the old Timex commercials where they declared the toughness of a Timex watch? “It takes a licking, and keeps on ticking!”  (for a blast down memory lane, click here). 

Now let’s look at the marker of toughness in each of our 4 dimensions:

Physical resilience is our resistance to injury, tolerance of pain and how calloused we are to the external world. Marital arts instructors train students to become “calloused” to pain by giving them exercises that actually develop callouses. Callouses are something that we develop naturally through extensive use of certain body parts, like feet and hands  … but we can speed up that process by intentionally targeting the areas that we want toughened up by subjecting those areas to controlled amounts of stress or pain. The body adapts and learns to deal with the localized trauma by thickening the skin or desensitizing the nerves in the area that it knows will be coming under attack.

Emotional resilience is a measure of our capacity to bounce back from disappointment, frustration or loss. It’s been said that disappointment is the gap between expectation and reality. To lessen the potential for disappointment you need to either bring reality to a higher level or lower expectations. Which do you think is easier? A big (and I mean HUGE) part of the training that I deliver centres around helping people manage their expectations. Now this is a tricky one … it doesn’t mean to lower your standards of what you expect from yourself or others … it means to lower (or even eliminate) your emotional attachment to the results.

I deliver a training program called The Omega Program: a program in which some participants can spend years. The lesson on managing expectations is one of the very first ones taught because that skill/habit, in my opinion, is one of life’s most important ones to develop. So much of our emotional resilience is predicated on our ability to manage our expectations. I could write on this for a year … but I’ll offer this single simple bit of wisdom …do everything in your power to reduce or eliminate your emotional attachment to the outcomes in life that you hope for. [Personally – I have only been able to do that through the power of God … but that’s me].

Mental resilience is the capacity or ability to pursue a solution despite continued failure in trying to find it. This one sounds like it is a combination of emotional resilience and mental endurance … and it probably is. It’s about having the mental toughness to not give up. Other words that come to mind are stick-to-it-tiveness. Maybe the best word for this is grit. It’s the combination of determination to accomplish an objective, combined with the ability to ignore the pain of disappointment.

To be honest, I have no idea how to intentionally exercise this one, other than to find your reason for wanting to achieve an objective, and to let that reason almost irrationally drive you to accomplish it, regardless of failed attempts. It’s the passion of purpose that takes over and moves you in a way that even if you fail, you fail forward. At this point, motivational speakers like to throw in the Thomas Edison legend of how many hundreds (or thousands) of times he failed in his attempt to invent the incandescent light bulb. As the story goes, Mr. Edison never saw those attempts as failures, rather, they simply became a growing inventory of ways of how not to invent a lightbulb. I actually like this story because it is about grit. It comes out of an almost irrational belief (or hope) that the there IS a solution and it WILL be found through sufficient effort.

My exercise solution for this then is to simply find your purpose and pursue it with passion.

Spiritual resilience is needed when your passionate pursuit of purpose is met with the sober reality that the solution is not forthcoming: that a particular “solution path” is a dead end. This is when the belief or hope that things will still resolve somehow becomes truly irrational. Spiritual resilience is the ability or capacity to have hope in the face of all evidence to the contrary. The metaphor that is widely used for this is this: “when God closes a door, He always opens a window.”

As with mental resilience, I believe that exercises that help us intentionally grow in this capacity are indirect at best. My best wisdom on this comes from Scripture. I referenced it last week but held off showing the full quote because I was waiting to connect the final dots. Paul writes to the church at Rome:

We glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4).

It is clear how suffering or challenge produces perseverance (endurance) … we discussed that last week. And it is clear how endurance produces character growth (which is what this series of post is about – character building). But how in the world does character produce hope? Well, it’s not a coincidence that I worded it that way because … and I can’t state my belief about this strongly enough; hope is not simply an optimistic expectation of an external thing … it is an internal construct that drives the machinery of our character. Character develops hope and hope develops character. They are fused in a way that eludes my understanding or ability to articulate … but I know it to be true and have both seen it in others and experienced it in myself.

Spiritual resilience is about having hope … and that hope is grown through character building, which snowballs back into having more hope.

It begins with a choice … a single word that not surprisingly is an action word.

HOPE!

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man



* Viphilus means, "lover of life"