CHARACTER BUILDING: Feeding

Welcome back Viphilus*

Continuing on the heals of last week’s post about breathing, today I want to talk about feeding. In the fire analogy, it takes oxygen and fuel to make a fire (well, in addition to the spark to create ignition). The oxygen part of the fire was covered last week in “breathing.” Today it is about FUEL.

Once again I want to look at the fuel (or FEEDING) component of character building by addressing each of our components: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

PHYSICAL Feeding
I need to confess … I struggle to get this part right in my life. Even now. Oh, I have learned a lot about how to fuel my body and what constitutes proper nutrition. I have learned that food and oxygen are the most important regulators of physical energy. And as for food:

FOOD EQUALS FUEL ………. FOOD DOES NOT EQUAL FUN

I have learned Pasternak’s wood-stove analogy about food and metabolism, which is as follows:

1. stoke the fire in the early morning to warm house (eat within 30 minutes of waking up)

2. feed the fire with wood continually during the day using smaller pieces of wood rather than large logs (eat 5-6 smaller meals, evenly spaced out during the day)

3. let the fire naturally burn down  at night when everyone is sleeping (don’t eat in the evening after supper)

4. next day, repeat

That learning also included the knowledge that it isn’t just the size of the wood that matters but also the type of wood. Food-wise, this translates as: each of the smaller meals should include a blend of a high-quality low fat protein, complex carb, healthy fats and fibre (and of course, water).

Body fat is like unburned wood … which is the result of too much wood for the fire or too little heat for the wood. In other words, too much food for the metabolism or a metabolism that is too low for the food being consumed. To discuss this more fully I will need to get into the upcoming discussions throughout October and November.

I also learned to set aside the wood-stove analogy when understanding the full complexity of the body because it does NOT function like a thermodynamic energy equation where CALORIES IN must equal CALORIES OUT (actually, if you do substantial research you will discover that the whole calorie thing was invented in the 1800s because it was easy to talk about and measure … but was known then to not actually be an accurate way of discussing body chemistry). Which is the next point … the body doesn’t work on thermodynamics … it works on biochemistry. Thermodynamics tells you that 1+1=2 or 3x3=9. In biochemistry, 1+1 might equal 49, depending on what each of the “1s” look like and exactly how they are added together.

Before you react too strongly, let me point out that you already know I’m right by just considering the following. If you are on a 1500 calorie/day diet, do you really think it doesn’t matter what those 1500 calories are composed of? Do you really think that your body will find it’s weight-equilibrium just as quickly if those calories are Twinkies vs tuna … or cheeseburgers vs Chinese cabbage … or bacon vs black beans? Therefore, this is not a calorie-equation exercise. It is much more complex than that. For example, diabetics are taught to use the GI-index (GI) which is a relative ranking of carbohydrate in foods according to how they affect blood glucose levels. Books are published with the GI # for each specific card, but those numbers aren't really accurate in themselves because the true GI value of a food depends on whether it is eaten with a protein or not (the number lowers if it is ... and that's a good thing).

Then there is the consideration of WHEN your “calories” are eaten. If you go too long between feeding then the metabolic fire cools down (which is great for storing fat). If you eat meals too close together then the metabolic fire can’t burn the new food because it is still trying to burn the last food (which is great for storing fat). In keeping with these two things then it is obvious that too much food and too little food are also bad. One of the biggest myths that trip up almost all dieters is the idea that “if I reduce my calories to very little I will lose more weight.” WRONG … you’ll either gain weight or you will plateau (as your body tries to protect you from starvation).

So let’s agree that physical fuel (food) is a complex subject but the bottom line is that it is very important to our physical energy. Our bodies need macronutrients (protein, carbohydrate, fat), vitamins (A, C, etc.) and minerals (zinc, iron, etc.) in order to function … but each within moderation.

But what are you doing to feed/fuel yourself emotionally, mentally or spiritually? We are all fairly adept at physical feeding, yet as a society we have become quite lax and uninformed about feeding the rest of ourselves. Did you know that you needed to do that? Do you know how to do that? Did you know that by not fueling yourself in those other areas, your overall energy levels will be low, regardless of how much physical energy you may be starting with. Let’s take a brief look at each of them.

EMOTIONAL/SOCIAL Feeding
Your heart also needs fuel. What does your emotional fuel-gauge look like? Are you full or running on empty? The solution is quite simple … just make sure that you engage in tank-filling activities such as recreation and enjoyment. This has a cross-over with next week’s topic of RESTING because participating in recreation can be both a FUELING practice as well as a RECOVERY practice. Setting aside the semantics, it is essential that we participate in activities that will prompt the release of the feel-good hormones such as serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine.

Doing things that you personally enjoy such as reading, riding your motorcycle, walking/running, knitting, playing sports, social activities, enjoying some solitude, simply NOT-working, etc., are all things that can help increase our dopamine or serotonin levels. (Carbs also help produce serotonin, which explains why we crave starchy or sweet foods when we feel down, so we have to be careful and be sure to make healthy choices for the physical part of us as well, such as high-fibre, lower GI carbs).

Make sure that you include social times in your schedule. Obviously the extroverts will do this naturally while the introverts will argue that being around people actually drains their “tank.” However, even most introverts enjoy an increase in oxytocin levels by spending some close-up time with their loved ones (hugs and cuddles boost this hormone in most people). Each of us need people, to varying degrees, so my point here is to make sure that we build that into our schedules; life can get busy and we can forget to fill our tank.

Another key aspect of keeping our emotional tank full is to practice forgiveness. Bitterness, usually the result of extreme disappointment in another person, drains our emotional tanks very quickly, rendering most other things in life to be bland or disappointing. Forgiveness is something we practice to refill our own hearts.

MENTAL Feeding
The mind needs correct information, to convert to knowledge, understanding and wisdom, in order to focus energy and navigate life successfully. We feed our minds by giving it new knowledge. Reading is a powerful way to feed your mind, but just like physical food, it needs to be nutritious … not everything we feed our mind may be good. If you read-for-fun because it fills your emotional tank, just be aware that you also need to read things to give your mind new information and new knowledge. A steady diet of anything comes with a downside so have a well-balanced diet of reading. (I remember one mentor telling me that it was easy to tell when a pastor’s mind died by just looking at the latest date of any book on his shelf … this man saw the value in keeping current by reading as much as he could on a regular basis).

Learning new things and new skills is a way of feeding our minds (this also has a cross-over to the post in a couple weeks on EXERCISING)

SPIRITUAL Feeding
How do we feed our spirit? It needs purpose and direction in order to provide a focal point for using our energy. Giving yourself a purpose or direction for all that you do (whether it is for a given day, week, month, year, decade, or your whole life) is essential in energizing yourself because it is this part that harnesses the energy gained from our other three components and fuels our life.

I will start by telling a story.

A few years ago I was in Alberta putting on a full-day workshop for managers and front-line supervisors. The topic was “engagement” and how to engage employees in sustainable ways that free them to bring their A-game almost every day. There were 30-40 people in the room and most participants were participating well. But I had one guy who was a bit of a naysayer … a contrarian if you will. He argued with almost everything I presented and found a reason to disagree at every turn. I could tell from the rolling eyes that others in the room were used to him being this way. By the time we reached the morning break he had escalated to a high-level of dissatisfaction with the material, openly declaring that my content was shallow and one-dimensional … and he stated as his proof, a strong disagreement with a statement that I used to start the workshop.

I realized (like a comedian faced with a heckler) that I needed to shut him down or turn him around, for the sake of everyone else in the room. You’ve undoubtedly heard about the working strategy to “under-promise and over-deliver.” Well, I am NOT a fan of that bumper-sticker. I have learned time and again that if you really want to WOW someone, or a crowd, the absolute best way to do that is to over-promise, and then still over-deliver on the over-promise. I decided in that moment to take a huge risk and stick my neck way way out there. It was a risk because I was clearly dealing with a cynic … arguably, the hardest types to turn-around in a short timeframe. My following action / statement shocked my heckler … but mostly shocked the room (because they all knew him).

“Oh, I think I have made an error here. My opening statement to the workshop wasn’t an opinion for you to debate … it was a teaching point.” The room exploded with laughter … but not my cynic.

“Tell you what,” I said as I walked right over to him, speaking loudly enough for the whole room to hear. “If you hold back your objections to everything I am saying and stop to consider that maybe … just maybe … you will gain some new insights today … and actually reflect on these things as well as reflecting on how your current methods aren’t actually working for you … then by the time we reach the end of the day, I am going to prove to you that not only was my opening statement completely true, you will also agree that this was the best workshop you have ever attended.”  <crickets>  All eyes darted between me and him. He conceded. We took our break. A few people quietly told me to not take his attacks as personal and that this was just the way he was.

The rest of the morning went smoothly and he became much more engaged. Just before we broke for lunch I asked him in front of the crowd if I had convinced him yet about the truth of my opening statement. I already knew what he was going to say. To the shock of everyone he said, “YES.” The room erupted into spontaneous applause. 

How had I turned him around? It wasn’t hard because he wasn’t a born-again cynic … he was actually a situational-cynic who actually wanted to be a highly engaged worker/manager. What turned him around was my conversation with him following a simple exercise that I do at workshops. I get everyone to think back over their career and make a list of all the times when work was excellent. [A born-again cynic will usually have an empty list. My guy wasn’t one of those.] I then get everyone to pair up and discuss their lists with a workshop partner and see if they can find anything that is common to everything on their list. It is an excellent exercise in self-awareness [the first time I did that exercise myself I couldn’t see the common thread, but when I showed it to my wife it jumped out at her that all my best times were when I was doing time-limited projects that had a creative side to them].

The group discussed their newfound insights but I noticed my challenger was quiet. I gave them all another brief exercise to do on their own but then went to him. I said that I had noticed that he hadn’t responded about his list and he said he was being compliant to my request to not be objectionable, but the reality was that there wasn’t anything in common on the things on his list (I was at least relieved to see that his list wasn’t empty). I asked him to describe to me each of those times when his work was so good. I listened to him describe each with great passion and excitement, and I also listened to the words that he used. When he was finished I said, “I see a very clear common thread in all those … in each case the work you were doing was very challenging, but also in each of those times you had a very clear, unambiguous goal of what it was you were trying to achieve.”

I swear, I almost saw the little lightbulb, floating above his head, turn on … very brightly. I was looking a man who had just had an epiphany. It was palpable. By the time we got to lunch he was now agreeing with my workshop-opening-statement (which had nothing to do with his epiphany by the way). But the real joy came after lunch. Upon return I asked him, in front of everyone, if he would like to share any new insights that he had gleaned from the morning. He jumped up and with the fervour of a tele-evangelist he preached about the importance of purpose-driven work and that “us managers” needed to get much better at creating clear, unambiguous goals and directions for our staff because all of them craved this. I almost felt like saying, "Amen - preach it brother!" He went on for about 10-minutes. I might have been able to convince 10% of the room about the importance of clarity in the work that we do, but my one-time-cynic had just proselytized the entire room. At 4:30 pm as I wrapped up the workshop he was the first to applaud … standing to his feet … and the first to come to me to tell me it was the best workshop he had ever attended.

I hope the story wasn’t too long that you forgot why I was telling it. Our spirit needs the fuel of clear goals, reasons and purpose. With those in place we can become phenomenally energized and life (whether work or play) is amazing. Without those we literally starve and life isn’t worth living. Whether you manage others or just yourself, having a clear purpose in all that you do is vital to being fully energized for life.

I’ve asked you before in this blog, but I will ask it again:

Do you do what you do because you have a reason to, or do you do what you do because you don’t see a better reason not to?  

When you feed yourself make sure you don’t forget to feed your spirit … it will likely inform you as to how/when to feed the rest of you as well.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"