Monday, 4 January 2016

FRESH START EMOTIONALLY: De-cluttering

Happy New Year Viphilus*

I don’t know whether or not you are a New Year’s resolution kinda person or not. Even those who aren’t still often see January as an opportunity to get a fresh start. Whether or not that is you, I invite you to join me for a one month fresh-start throughout January.

This week I want to talk about DE-CLUTTERING.

(ironically …. I no sooner typed the line that you just read when I got my weekly e-flyer from Staples promoting their Storage Event to help everyone “Conquer the Clutter”)  

The battle against clutter is a battle against disorganization, frustration and chaos. Most people, however, discern neither the real root problem nor the underlying root cause. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me back up a bit first.

Clutter is something that Deb and I have struggled with our entire married life. Like all married couples we each bring strengths and weaknesses to our partnership. One of Deb’s weaknesses is her propensity to be disorderly and disorganized. One of my strengths is to be orderly and organized. [we won’t discuss my faults right now … other than my struggle with the pot & kettle thing – please chuckle at least at that]. One the surface of things this should mean that my strength should help offset her weakness and I can help her.  Ha ha ha ha ha      If life were only that simple.  We are actually MUCH better at the clutter/chaos thing now than we have ever been, but it took things like being empty-nesters, my retirement, trying to sell our house for over a year, entertaining guests once or twice each week (etc.) to enable or force us to keep our home organized. It has also taken some more extreme measures, like doing two huge purges over the last 15 years; once we had professional junk movers haul away 7,000 lbs of STUFF … and another occasion, Deb’s ladies’ group from church did a gentle intervention and just showed up for an entire day to help us purge (pictured below).



Why did I tell you all that? To display my/our experience with the power that clutter can have over you to weigh you down emotionally. Clutter is the sign of a dysfunctional mind and WILL create anxiety. Bottom line: I know what I’m talking about.

Oh … and to get back to the pot calling the kettle black … my propensity for being organized and orderly has greyed out over the years and I have become more like Deb. For years I blamed her for that, but that was just me playing the victim. I mean, there’s no way that I was prepared to blame myself for devolving to her dysfunctional ways, so it had to be “her fault.”  Ha ha ha ha    Man, I was so immature back then. Nope, my devolution was my own doing … I got lazy.   But the happy news is that we are way better now, but we are still a work in progress. What I’d like to share today is what we’ve learned about this: TOGETHER.

We see people all around us are crying out for order and harmony and balance in their lives because they recognize that chaos is ruling and ruining them. Feng shui schools have become all the rage to teach us Westerners the ancient Chinese practice of placement and arrangement of space to achieve harmony with our environment. Why? Because proponents claim that feng shui has an effect on health, wealth, and personal relationships; and you know what … there is something to this. Organizations to help us organize and de-clutter our lives have become very popular and successful and they can give us some valuable tips. [For a couple of good examples, check out www.lifeorganizers.com  and  www.clutterbusters.ca.]

The root problem is hurry-sickness (I touched briefly on this last March 23 when discussing the results of hurry-sickness); many people feel that they have neither the time nor the energy to maintain an orderly home or workspace. But those excuses are simply the result of living a hurried life (not to be confused with a busy life). And the underlying root cause of hurry-sickness? A disordered and disintegrated heart. That’s why psychologists list clutter as an emotional disorder … a mental illness. Therefore, our battle is not against clutter … the real battle is to order and integrate the heart. Our emotional well-being is integral (part of the integrated whole) to a fully functioning character … and ignoring our emotional side (heart) will lead to the disintegration of our character.

Your actions follow your heart, but as Aristotle pointed out, your heart also follows your actions: “You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” You must train your mind, heart, body and spirit through simple actions … as simple as de-cluttering.  In order to beat clutter in  your life, you need simple actions that you blindly obey. Deb and I offer the following to you as a first step ... but maybe you can think about it as a prime directive: a Prime Directive regarding clutter.

Cease setting things down in places that are not their home

Your clutter is simply one reflection of the disordered state of your heart and mind. Clutter around you also feeds back into your mind and heart and opens the door for further disorderliness, but on a deeper level. The following habits are easy-to-practice actions, which, when they become fully-grown into life-habits, have the power to initiate other, more significant habits of orderliness. 


4 RITUALS for DECLUTTERING

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 1
At the end of each day – set aside 5 minutes to declutter / tidy

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 2
Once a week – change your daily 5 minutes into 15 to tidy what your daily rituals missed

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 3
Once a month – change your weekly 15 minutes into 45 to tidy what your weekly rituals missed

DECLUTTERING HABIT # 4
Once a year – take a day to exorcise the excess from your house and plan a better organizational strategy for your “things”


Don’t underestimate the value of these 4 actions, along with the prime directive, in your personal development and training.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man


* Viphilus means, "lover of life"



















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