Welcome back Viphilus*
Let’s begin where I left off
last week … with the prime directive:
Control the change process within you - because you can
Your reaction to that
statement will depend on which kind of person you currently are. And in this
context, there are only two kinds: Hammers and Nails.
Hammers are people who proactively
take charge of their mind and emotions, using them to dictate their circumstances.
They are tactical in using their natural fight and flight responses to their
advantage.
Nails are people who react to life and let it control their mind and emotions, and are controlled by their circumstances. They use their natural fight and flight responses inappropriately, usually to their detriment.
I’m clearly being
reductionistic here because you can never break people into two cleanly divided
groups … people fall in a spectrum. What I’m describing are the polar opposites
in this spectrum. Let me continue then with an idealistic description of these
polar using words that are more familiar; Nails
are pessimists while Hammers are optimists. (important note: while all Hammers are optimists, not all optimists are Hammers.) And their orientation or temperament on this particular spectrum
really comes down to whether or not they feel they have control … or even a
sense of control. For the most part, pessimists believe they have no control …
optimists believe they do. And here’s the kicker … the control doesn’t even
have to be real … it’s completely about the perception of control.
Since we are all familiar with the terms optimist and pessimist, let's explore them a bit more thoroughly to see if we all share the same understanding of these two particular orientations.
Optimism and
Pessimism
Optimism, and its
counterpart, pessimism, are attitudes of interpretation. One dictionary defines
optimism as “a disposition or tendency to look on the more favourable side of
events or conditions and to expect the most favourable outcome.” The
traditional metaphor for characterizing this attitude is a glass that holds
half its capacity of water; optimists interpret the glass as half-full,
pessimists interpret it as half-empty. Pessimists defend their attitude as
being more realistic; optimists believe in the value of being hopeful. Just as
a glass that holds half its capacity is no more half-full than half-empty, an
optimistic perspective isn’t any more truthful than a pessimistic one. So why
does the attitude matter?
The Value of
Pessimism
Pessimists are oriented
towards an expectation of failure which aids them in protecting themselves from
disappointment. They manage their expectations in a mitigative manner by
lowering their expectations of almost everything. In the Power of Full
Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz write, “from an energy perspective it
is easy to be negative; optimism requires courage, not just because life is
finite, but also because we all inevitably face challenges, obstacles, and
setbacks along the way.” As well, the perennially hopeful attitude of optimists
is often a naïve Pollyanna heartset that blinds itself to reality and sets them
up for disappointment. Therefore, pessimism seems like the safer emotional bet.
In fact, pessimism is the default attitude when optimism isn’t intentionally
chosen. On the surface this seems like a good strategy for managing
expectations.
But this strategy, conscious
or not, comes with a greater cost than benefit. Everyone knows how it feels to
be around a relentlessly pessimistic person; they radiate negative energy and
nobody wants to be around them. That alone might seem like a sufficient reason
to choose to be optimistic, but there is an even better reason; your
performance in life is greatly dictated by whether you are an optimist or a
pessimist; performance is greatly enhanced by optimism.
The Greater
Value of Optimism
Experts in human performance
have shown that optimists have an orientation towards an expectation of success
… a preferred attitude in order to actually produce success. However, optimism
must be anchored in reality, focused by results, and fuelled by deep core
beliefs. Loehr and Schwartz write, “to be effective in the world, we find a
balance between looking honestly at the most painful truths and contradictions
in our lives and engaging in the world with hope and positive energy.”
Pessimists remain inactive
and seldom leave their comfort zone because of a scarcity mentality. Optimists
inherently are risk-takers and are driven more by an abundance mentality. An
optimistic viewpoint is more energizing and empowering; optimism leads to
action whereas pessimism typically leads to paralysis. It is an optimistic
attitude that drives persistence. Again, Loehr and Schwartz write, “anything
that prompts appropriate focus and realistic optimism serves performance.” They
continue that “realistic optimism is a paradoxical notion that implies seeing
the world as it is, but always working positively toward a desired outcome or
solution.” As well, “when it comes to the everyday challenges of performance,
the energy of negative thinking is almost invariably undermining and
counterproductive. Realistic optimism better serves the challenges we face.”
Look at the graphic and,
from the discussion we just had, see if you can track through the logic (I’m
hoping that it is self-evident).
Again, this is reductionistic
and idealized, but it makes an important point … those who say they can and
those who say they can’t are usually both right.
Let’s dig a little deeper. In
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,
Stephen Covey teaches about the link between our influence on the world around
us and how we focus our energy. He says that we each have a wide range of
concerns such as health, children, problems at work, national debt, global
warming, world wars, etc. These we separate from the things for which we have
no particular mental or emotional involvement by creating a “Circle of
Concern.”
As we look within our Circle
of Concern it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no
real control while there are others that we can do something about. The latter
ones we can capture in another circle that he calls, “The Circle of Influence.”
The point of his teaching is
that when we put a lot of mental or emotional energy simply into the things
that concern us, we run the risk of negatively impacting ourselves because many
of those things may fall outside of our circle of influence. Why is that negative? Because when we lose
control over things that matter to us we become anxious … and anxiety
diminishes us and drains our energy. The famous “serenity prayer,” teaches us
to courageously put our energies into the things over which we have influence
and to serenely accept the things over which we have no influence.
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things
that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Covey’s concept of the Circles
of Concern and Influence is a modern day reworking of that prayer, but with a
deeper insight into the results of such an attitude. When we courageously focus
our energies, with discipline, into the concerns over which we have some
influence, that effort expands our influence and we actually make a difference.
It also energizes us. An optimist directed by this strategy can usher change
into the world around him. Pessimists, on the other hand, are equally caring
people, who may have an even larger circle of concern. However, their negative
and hopeless attitude about results and outcomes prevents them from proactively
investing their energies in any strategic way because they do not see their
actions having a positive impact. The result is a self-fulfilling downward
spiral of negativity; their efforts bear no results, justifying their negative
attitude. It also depletes their energy as well as diminishing their circle of
influence even further.
Tactically, this needs to be
taken one step further because the Circle of Influence likely contains more
things and people than a person can commit to influencing. We are finite and
have limited energy. High performers choose to focus their energy into narrow
streams. In this light, I appreciate the way the University of Texas (San
Antonio campus) Health Science Center expands on Covey’s circles by adding a
third one … a “circle of commitment.” This
is the practice of highly effective people … to intentionally focus their limited
energies to have the greatest realized-influence.
If you are on the pessimistic
end of the spectrum then here are four insights that the optimists instinctively
know … reasons for perhaps choosing optimism, if you can:
- Optimism is synonymous with hope.
- Optimism creates an abundance mentality and powers performance.
- Optimism drives persistence and enables results.
- People prefer being around optimists; pessimists are not fun to be around.
Final Word for Christians (but all are welcome to read it)
To be optimistic means to be
intentionally oriented towards results. Results-based optimism provides an
inner target and mission to keep a person working towards goals and outcomes.
Because the results are internally held, the emotional resolve to achieve the
results is more readily sustainable because it is not imposed from the outside.
We Christians, however, are taught
that we should not strive towards human goals but towards heavenly goals. “Seek
first His Kingdom, and His righteousness …” is the admonition of Jesus … “and
all these (other) things will be added as well.” We are also taught to work
hard towards every enterprise to which we give our heart, but do it all as if
we were doing it for God Himself. Herein, then, lies the tension that must be
maintained … we must make sure that our hearts are oriented not just towards
results … but towards God’s results. This may present itself as a
contradiction, but it is an essential tension that must be maintained and
managed.
An old saying teaches us to,
“work as if it all depended on you but pray as if it all depended on God.” This
takes an almost divided mind to be able to maintain effort and focus with
apparently two opposing and driving emotions. But the mature Christian knows of the importance of maintaining
balance despite the tension of these seemingly opposing perspectives. We are to
strive, optimistically (hopefully) towards outcomes … but not be disappointed
if the results differ from our expectations, because it is only God who can
truly measure the success of our efforts and mission. This doesn’t mean that we
don’t set human goals and strive for human results. We must! But the mature Christian establishes these under the authority and
purpose of God and his/her emotional state is not determined by those outcomes.
I am not simply an optimist.
I prefer to think of myself as a results/faith-based optimist. Optimism is a
powerful mental state that is born out of choice; YOU CHOOSE your attitude.
Choose optimism!
I hope to see you back next
Monday.
Blessings Viphilus,
Your friend, Omega Man
* Viphilus means, "lover of life"
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