Welcome back Viphilus*
Well, after a week off you
might expect a particularly long post. Quite the opposite. This one will
actually be very short. Not because I don’t have much to say, but because I
want this message to be clear.
Without constant vigilance
regarding our condition and progress, the natural tendency for people is to
regress and lose focus. Why? Because focus fades with time without continuous
intentional effort. And let’s face it … it is hard to maintain attention. This
is why in PROSCI’s A.D.K.A.R. change model (which I outlined on June 8), the
final step is just as important as the others. The R stands for re-inforcement …
which is possible only by constantly evaluating how and what you are doing.
Before evaluating ourselves
we first need to determine:
- The standard or “benchmark” we’re using for the
evaluation. Without this we’ll never have a focal point (goal) to direct
our energy of self-correction nor will we know if progress is being made.
The skill of self-correction is called discipline.
- How we will observe, measure and monitor ourselves. This
is the skill of self-awareness. Measurement (of progress) provides
considerable motivation for the needed changes.
In Timothy Ferris’
fascinating book, “The 4-Hour Body,” the author cites a case where a man sets out to lose a substantial amount of
weight. The guy believed that he knew everything that he needed to know about
how to lose weight, so he devised the following simple strategy. He decided how
much weight that he wanted to lose, over a reasonable period of time (ie: it
was doable – nothing extreme), then he drew a line on a graph from his starting
weight to his final weight (plotted against the date). He then had only two
rules of engagement; he got weighed each morning and:
1) if his weight was on or below the line, he did
whatever he wanted in terms of eating and exercise;
2) if his weight was above the line, he
acted/behaved accordingly to bring it back on or below the line ASAP.
Apparently it worked. No
exotic plans or procedures. He went on the assumption that all of us know how
to lose weight … by eating less, eating healthy and by exercising or being
active.
What we need to see here was
the genius behind his success; it was his vigilance. Without exception he paid attention
every day to what his weight was and then took immediate action. His goal wasn’t
to always be perfect and remain below the line. His goal was to try to live as
normally as possible but to make corrections as quickly as possible, in real
time, in order to stay on target.
I love this strategy … and
here’s why. After a while, his continual practice of self-correction actually
trained his brain about what healthy eating and activity looked like and he
ended up self-sabotaging a lot less … to the point where he eventually just
stayed on target.
This approach is actually
very biblical. To make this point let me present exhibit A. The Bible tells
about Israel’s King David who did some pretty nasty things (adultery and murder).
The Bible also says that David was “a man after God’s own heart.” Really? A
murdering adulterer is someone whom God identifies with? Of course not … so
here’s the point. We aren’t perfect … God knows this and He wants us to know
this. But He also wants us to strive for perfection without it being a neurotic
pursuit … by simply making course-corrections as quickly as possible in order
to get back on “the straight and narrow.” In the case of the weight-loss guy
from Ferris’ book, his “straight and narrow” was literally a straight and
narrow line on a graph … and the goal was to stay on or below it.
What does the
straight-and-narrow look like for you. Physically? Emotionally? Mentally?
Spiritually? Socially?
Keeping with the Biblical
ideas on this there is a wonderful Psalm (#139) that David wrote where he asks
God to search his heart, to test the anxiety levels in his thinking, to
investigate the incongruent patterns in his life, and then to show him the “straight
and narrow” so that he could make self-corrections. OK, I paraphrased that just a wee bit … but the point is there.
And it goes without saying that David didn’t ask God to do all this so that God
would know where David was screwing up … he asked God in order for God to show
HIM where he was screwing up. In essence, David was praying for God to help him
get better at self-awareness so that he could accurately evaluate himself in order to be better at improving himself.
The importance of self-awareness
is littered throughout the Bible because it is one of the most important (if
not THE most important) character qualities necessary for maturity. And while
self-awareness in itself doesn’t bring about the necessary changes in us, it
provides the data and motivation for us to go to the next step of actually
measuring what we see … which then provides the benchmark for knowing where and
how much to change (improve).
This could be an incredibly
long post because there are dozens (or hundreds) of self-awareness exercises
and self-measurement tests that all provide useful data for us. But I promised
this would be a short post, so I am going to keep this somewhat generic by simply
providing a few overarching principles.
- Whatever you find when you monitor yourself, don’t judge
it … just observe it and acknowledge it. Why? Because if you judge
yourself then your emotions will amp up and the experience will be
sufficiently negative that you will shy away from your needed vigilance and you'll stop caring.
- Whatever you are trying to monitor or measure, ritualize
it to the point where it becomes habitual (like getting on the scale each
morning … like pondering the good/bad points of each day … like asking
yourself why you are having negative feelings rather than just accepting
the bad feelings … etc.)
- Give yourself at least one point of vigilance for each
of the following:
- Your body (eg: measuring body fat content with a meter of some sort)
- Your emotions (eg: did I laugh at least once today?)
- Your mind (eg. did I take captive all negative thoughts today or did they linger?)
- Your social connections (eg: was I easily offended by anyone today?)
- Your spirit (eg: did I stay on mission today?)
- Because negative emotions ultimately lead to self-limiting,
self-sabotaging and self-defeating thinking and behaviour, try to identify
the one negative emotion that rules you the most, and become vigilant of
when it happens and why you think you feel that way. Such emotions
include: fear; frustration; anger; bitterness; depression; worry; shame; jealousy;
envy; doubt; sadness; guilt … to name a few. As I mentioned above, just
thinking about it won’t solve it, but it’s a darned good place to start by
at least identifying it.
- Above all else, make sure that you have a clear goal,
focal-point or mission that guides your life each day, week, month or year.
If you have nothing as your target, well, then you’ll hit that every time … but you
won’t want to brag about it. If you are stuck on this then routinely ask
yourself the question you’ve read in this blog numerous times before:
Do
you do what you do because you have a reason to or do you do what you do
because you don’t see a better reason not to?
Happy vigilance my friend
and I hope to see you back next Monday.
Blessings Viphilus,
Your friend, Omega Man
* Viphilus means, "lover of life"
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