Happy Monday Viphilus*
Let me begin by reminding
you of the Capacity Table which I posted on Nov.16.
Last week I wrote 4
different posts to cover the subject of exercising for the character marker
known as strength. And as you see
from the table, we need to consider our strength capacity: physically,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually. This week is one post on exercising for character
marker of flexibility.
Physically
we do stretching types of exercises to train our muscles and ligaments to move
in broader ranges of motion. I have a friend who is a physiotherapist and she says
that everyone should do these types of exercises their whole life in order to
maintain maximum ranges of motion in older age when the body tends to seize up.
In particular, we should do stretching exercises in order to reduce our risk of
injury and for overall greater physicality.
One of the biggest
differences between strength training and flexibility training is the intensity
level. In strength training the goal is to raise the intensity so that you
fail. NOT SO with stretching exercises … for them you stretch to the point where
you just start to fail … to the point of discomfort, not pain. The shift from
comfort to discomfort marks the limit of your range of motion so pushing a wee
bit beyond that makes the muscles and ligaments uncomfortable. When you hit
discomfort, hold there a bit before letting go. Don’t push too far beyond this
or you will injure yourself which could take months or years for recovery.
As for frequency and
duration, depending on what you are trying to accomplish, something like 2-5
days per week, 5-10 minutes per workout, with 2-5 repetitions per stretch.
There are lots of online stretching exercises … here is one.
Mental
flexibility is about our capacity to move between rational and intuitive forms
of reasoning as well as the ability to hold multiple points of view (not
multiple opinions … simply the ability to see and understand different
viewpoints). Exercises for mental flexibility include reading from a wide
bandwidth of perspectives. Don’t just read from authors who agreed with you …
read from authors who have diametrically opposed viewpoints. The goal is not to
become wishy washy in your viewpoints … the goal is to validate them and your
assumptions, and if they need changing, then you can change them. As well, it
is to be able to understand the perspectives of others for the purpose of
empathy and community harmony.
If you want to ramp up the
intensity of the exercises, engage in healthy ideological debates with others …
but make such events openly-stated safe events in order for those
involved to be free to make themselves vulnerable in the sharing of their
opinions. Keep things from becoming emotionally charged by stating up front that
that is a principle of engagement.
Emotional flexibility is about our capacity to move freely and
appropriately along a wide spectrum of emotions without being either rigid
or defensive. In some aspects, this is tied closely to mental flexibility
because the more you can come to understand varying viewpoints, the easier it
is to manage yourself in situations that might otherwise become emotionally charged.
But for the most part, emotional
flexibility is about allowing yourself to experience the fullest range of
emotions … not restricting yourself so that you don’t show those emotions to
others (or even to yourself). Life circumstances might have led your to be
emotionally-closed so that when you laugh you don’t let go and belly-laugh
around others … or when you grieve you don’t let go and sob deeply … or when
you get excited and joyful you don’t let go and celebrate with abandon. Get the
point?
How do you exercise this? Sorry
… no magic bullets here … this one is simply a matter or practicing. You begin
by being intentional in some simple or easy circumstances and permitting
yourself to emote. I suggest by beginning with something happy or joyous. If
you are screaming inside to let go and be super happy about something … LET GO
and let it out so that those around you can experience it too. Trust me … this
will be a gift to those around you. When the world doesn’t come to an end
because you have let some emotions slip out, then use that knowledge to do it again,
for a different emotion.
This is where some might
say, “wait a second … if I let ‘the beast out’ that isn’t good either … I
thought we are supposed to manage our emotions so that others don’t get burned?” And you would be right: partially.
Life is almost never an all-or-nothing deal … it is learning to balance, and
sometimes that means shifting the fulcrum (balancing point). There is a tension
between showing no emotion and showing too much emotion … each of us have to
find that balance on our own because there is not a one-size-fits-all formula.
Find yours by beginning to exercise and experience the full range of emotions …
but YES, manage them gently.
Spiritual flexibility is about our capacity to tolerate non-harmful values
and beliefs that are different from our own. Being spiritual means having core
beliefs and values and principles. As you might guess, there is a strong link between
the mental, emotional and spiritual on these things. Mentally we explore the
universe for options on values, beliefs and principles … spiritually we decide
on which ones we will declare to be our own … and emotionally we passionately
build our lives around those, making life choices automatically because those
things are core and anchored deep within us. To be spiritually flexible might appear
to be unwise, but it is only when you objectively consider other options that you
can truly deepen your commitment to your own values or to see when they need to change.
Values and principles get
stronger when they are tested … so exercising them will happen naturally as
life delivers up opportunities for you to test what they are. I remember listening
to a John Maxwell leadership teaching session where he made a statement that
stopped me in my tracks. I can’t remember the exact words but they were along
the lines: “Principles are core beliefs that you would rather die for than violate …
so try not to have too many principles.”
Principles are core beliefs that you would rather
die for than violate.
You don’t need to exercise
your spiritual flexibility … you will be given plenty of opportunity to stretch
it. But note well … your core values should be inviolably anchored in your soul,
until such time as you realize they are wrong … and then change them. In other
words … be spiritually rigid in your espoused values, but be ready to change
them the moment you know they are wrong. Everything you do and everything you
ARE comes from those core values … they decide everything for you, or at least
they should.
I hope to see you back next
Monday when we look at building character endurance.
Blessings Viphilus,
Your friend, Omega Man
* Viphilus means, "lover of life"
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