Habit # 7: Sharpen the saw (biblically speaking)

Welcome back Viphilus*

It took 2 months to get here but today we reach the end of Covey's 7 habits of highly effective people.

"Sharpen the saw."

This is the principle that, in many ways, holds all the other ones together. Without this one, the rest fall apart because they are unsustainable. Habit 7 is about the need for recovery. We expend energy doing everything and because we are not infinite creatures we need to recharge our batteries ... replenish our reserves ... fill our tank. Pick whatever metaphor you wish but the teaching is the same; we must live in a way that sustainably allows us to accomplish the things that we need to accomplish, with ever-increasing capacity as we go.

Covey's metaphor reminds us that we are human beings, not human doings (although he wasn't the one that said that). We are creatures made in His image ... to be valued, not lowered to the level of a machine (or treating our self as a machine).

Covey got this principle from both Genesis and Exodus. In Genesis, following the 6 days of creation, we read that God rested on the 7th day. Then in Exodus 20:8-11, as Moses rolled out the 10 commandments, we read Commandment # 4 ... the longest-worded commandment on the list because it required explanation just to be perfectly clear:

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

From the opening chapter of the Bible there has been an abiding principle that helps us human-beings keep life in perspective while also helping us recover our energies to continue doing amazing work: REST!

Our modern society does not value rest and recovery, let alone taking time to simply think ... to simply dream ... to simply BE!

I go to the gym and do some strength-training exercises ... anaerobic activities that quickly deplete the oxygen in the target muscle cells, resulting in the production of lactic acid and the familiar "burn" when the muscle gets fatigued to the point of failure. But we know the ultimate result is a stronger muscle after proper nutrition and then a time of rest (actually, sleep) allows the body to go into repair mode and not only restore but actually increase the muscle's capacity. Athletes understand that without the sleep part, regeneration does not happen. The world's best athletes are the ones who know and deeply understand that recovery must be an integral part of their rhythm ... their life-cadence ... or failure and collapse is the ultimate fate.

For me, the concept of "sharpening the saw," means to not only build recovery into my own rhythms ... it means that sabbath must be a heart-set and a core-value out of which most of my principles draw their strength. Sabbath is not a day of the week ... it is a life-orientation in which we build in routine times for shutting down production (of everything) in order to simply BE. Such an orientation allows us to keep our eye on what the end-game is (habit 2) and keep our priorities straight (habit 3) as we go by building a proactive mindset (habit 1) into our life. Sabbath is an orientation that permits us to continually remind ourselves that life is not just about us but that we live in community ... a community that works best when everyone understands everyone else (habit 5) and when everyone wins (habit 4) and when everyone works together because everyone is needed (habit 6) in order for this thing called LIFE to work well.

I hope that you have enjoyed the last two months as we whipped rather superficially through the origin of Covey's 7 habits. It's been good for me as a reminder that all good things come from above, from the Father of the heavenly lights (James 1) ... and that He has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1).

Well Viphilus ... I am now going to sharpen my own saw for a month. During that month I would like you to do one thing for me. Please send me an email (not a comment on this blog site ... the comments-feature doesn't appear to work) letting me know if you are a reader of this blog. That's it. How I go forward after this in May will be dictated by that response.

e-mail: omegaman.pb@gmail.com


Blessings Viphilus ... see you back here in May.

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

Habit # 6: Synergize (biblically speaking)

Welcome back Viphilus*

Well, we are getting close to the end of the 7 habits. Today we look at the biblical inspiration behind Covey’s 6^th habit: to synergize.

First, a quick understanding of synergy is in order. According to Wikipedia, synergy is the creation of a whole that is greater than the simple sum of its parts. The etymology is Greek from a similar sounding word which means, “working together.”

There are dozens (maybe hundreds) of uses and examples. It is about the ability of a group (of people or things) to outperform even the very best of its individual members because, in a group, weaknesses are masked and strengths are exploited. In many cases, it is the chemistry of the combined parts that create a new capacity or ability.

In the New Testament we need look no further than the Apostle Paul’s extensive discussion of the church being analogous to the human body. Paul goes into some detail to draw the conclusion that the mission of the church can be accomplished only by being united in mind and heart through each member deploying their unique skills in a synergistic way. Many of today’s secular organizational mantras of, “unity through diversity,” find their roots in 1 Corinthians 12. Picking up in the middle of the text, we read:

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

Paul continues this discussion in chapter 14 but takes an important parenthetical side-step (chapter 13) to address the key attribute that facilitates the analogy working in the church: LOVE. Love is the binding mindset that allows each member to see that his/her role is no more/less important than any other and that the success of the whole depends on the success of each of the individuals. This theme of cooperation, collaboration and interdependency literally forms the DNA of the New Testament writings and is why a measurable percentage of those writings are like a broken-record reminder of the importance of getting along, valuing others and being “of one mind.”

Covey’s model of maturity shows us moving from dependence to independence to interdependence. We are born dependent on our parents. We then learn to take responsibility for ourselves (from tying our own shoes to accepting blame for our own mistakes to developing skills and honing our abilities). Finally, we shift to interdependence where we look out for each other, we bring our unique skills and qualities to the community to supplement/compliment what is already there, and we set the health of the community above our own.

Here now is my own biggest take-away, from experience, that comes out of this maturity model of moving from dependence to independence to interdependence; risk increases as we move in the direction of maturity because that move results in complete shifts in lifestyle paradigms. Let's look at each transition.

1. In dependence we live in comfort where everything is done for us because of our vulnerability. As we move to independence it can be scary because of the risk inherent in leaving our “comfort zone,” as we start doing things for ourselves. The reward, however, when we get there, is a richer emotional state that I will call happiness. We work to make ourselves less vulnerable because we are now in control of our own world, no longer relying on our parents or guardians. This results in a pleasing sensation.

2. The second move from independence to interdependence is stressful again because after all the effort to develop invulnerability, we now have to yield control once again. But this time it isn't to an individual or a couple of parents. It is to a larger group or groups, thus making us potentially vulnerable all over again. But this time, we do it by contributing to the larger group and surrendering the need to have our own basic needs met. The upside is that this can be the most rewarding state of all if done intentionally. In describing it I will use the word joy as an up-sell to replace happiness.

I recognize that my semantics may be awkward, or even inappropriate for you, so find the word that fits your understanding. My main point though is that while happiness is less comfortable than comfort (pun intended), it is ultimately more fulfilling than comfort. Likewise, joy is better (more fulfilling) than happiness. There is a risk in moving in the direction of maturity … but my own experiences have taught me that it is worth the risk.

To develop the habit of intentionally synergizing is really to develop the habit of maturing: growing up. Fear can keep us locked into comfort or simple happiness, but the downside is that both of those come with a time-limited return on investment; the fulfilling aspect of each fades with time. This fading reward should stir the motivation to keep moving towards interdependency. Instead though, what I’m witnessing around me is a growing trend in people to become stuck in dependence or independence and then suffer the anxieties that inevitably come from living a life that is not-well-lived (because on the inside, we know it isn’t right).

Covey encourages us to synergize not just to accomplish more and to ultimately be more effective (which are both true), but also because this is where the spectrum of life’s peak experiences can be found. If you don’t believe me or Covey just don’t shoot the messengers. It’s from the Bible.

I hope to see you back next Monday for our look at the final habit.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

Habit # 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood (biblically speaking)

Welcome back Viphilus*

My son’s Boy Scout Leader taught him that since we all have two ears and only one mouth we should listen twice as much as we speak. I liked that little analogy.

In a famous prayer, St. Francis of Assisi asked God to help him to, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Covey might have got this from St. Francis, but if he did, he likely also sought out where the saint got it from himself: the Bible.

Here’s my guess how it unfolded for the saint. As he did every day, St. Francis was doing his daily devotional readings and prayers. On one particular day he read Proverbs 18 and was struck with 2 verses in particular:

Proverbs 18:2: –  “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.”

Proverbs 18:13 – “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”

Solomon’s focus is on fools who speak before listening and who are so self-absorbed that they could care less what others think and who love to listen to the sound of their own voice as they rattle off their own opinions. When Jesus’ brother, James, encouraged us all to, “be quick to listen and slow to speak” (James 1:19), I think it was because he knew that we al have selfish and prideful tendencies.

Therefore, one reason we should seek first to understand before we try to be understood is because it will help get us outside of ourselves and, in humility, come to learn that others have thoughts and opinions as valid (if not more valid) then our own, not to mention that it demonstrates caring.

But, there are a couple more reasons... 

First, it greases the wheels of communication … people are much more prone to listen to you if they know that they also will be heard; especially if they have already been heard. 

Second, as the old expression goes, “walk a mile in another man’s shoes …” We all lack perspective and more often than not we judge others because we don’t actually understand what they are going through, or have gone through. This, of course, is empathy.

Sympathy is feeling someone else’s pain; empathy is understanding their pain. Sympathy says, “I know how you feel.” Empathy says, “I don’t necessarily know how you feel, but I understand why you feel the way you do.” Sociologists and psychologists have written scores of books on this topic and it turns out that being understood is one of our deepest human needs ... and when fulfilled it contributes greatly to our social success.

I have one more biblical example which, for me, trumps the clear words of Proverbs 18. It is God Himself. God revealed Himself to mankind in a progressive way and we always struggled to really know Him. But it wasn’t until He re-created Himself in the form of a human-being (John 1:1-14) that two things happened:

1. He walked a mile in our shoes in order to understand what He had asked us to do;
2. We could identify with Him because He had shown that he first wanted to identify with us.

The following words from Hebrews 2:10 are about Jesus. Look at them carefully.

God made the pioneer of our salvation perfect through what he suffered. 

How did he suffer, and why? The writer of Hebrews answers that as well in 2:14-18:

Jesus shared in our humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. …. For this reason he had to be made like us, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. 

By walking in our shoes He showed that he not only understood, He could also show us the way out of our predicament. Jesus had both sympathy AND empathy. He both felt and understood the pain of our struggle. I like the writer's words in 4:15:

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 

Why bother to understand someone first before trying to get them to understand you? Because that’s what God did.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

Habit # 4: Think Win:Win (biblically speaking)

Welcome back Viphilus*

Today we launch into the first of Covey’s three principles for living effectively with other people.

The WIN:WIN paradigm. This may be the most annoyingly misunderstood and misquoted of Covey’s 7 habits. In fact, almost nobody that I know actually understands it. Everyone quotes it but too few really know the principle behind it … or the depth of control that they have in creating the WIN:WIN scenario. At least Covey’s version of that expression. For most people, a WIN:WIN situation is where both parties in a negotiation or situation come out with a new benefit or advantage: both parties are happy with the outcome and feel like they have gained ground in some way. I’ve heard people use the expression in describing a life situation where they and another person have both “come out ahead,” by complete accident. While it is true that they have both “won” in some sense, this does not at all describe Covey’s usage.

The following diagram describes this principle:

Here is the main teaching point about the WIN:WIN scenario that is lost on most people. It is not simply a happy outcome where both parties come out with a new advantage. It is an intentional pursuit on the part of at least one of the parties that unless both parties can achieve a new advantage, there is NO DEAL. Covey really stresses this part … and for a very good reason … because this is the core principle behind Christianity … it is the principle that sets Christianity apart from all other religions;

It is 100% about relationship!

Quite simply, it works this way. If you are entering into a negotiation with me (on anything) and it is your practice to always engage in WIN:WIN scenarios … then you will fight just as hard for MY WIN in the negotiation as you will for YOUR OWN WIN. This is completely counter-cultural (any culture … in any era in human history). It is completely opposite of a dog-eat-dog mentality. It is completely opposite of “each man for himself” philosophies. It is simply the opposite of what is observed in probably 99+% of human interactions.

Let me state it again. As a pursuer of WIN:WIN scenarios, you will work every bit as hard to make sure that I win in our negotiation as you will to make sure that you win. This is about simultaneously respecting both me and yourself. AND …. any other outcome is unacceptable and you will simply not agree to it. To put the finest point on it, if I don’t come out ahead in our negotiation, even though you yourself do, you will stop the negotiation and state “no deal.”

So where is this in the Bible? You’d have to read the entire Bible to see it, or at least the entire New Testament. It is the principle behind the Gospel (the good news). Look at the diagram that I am including here and ponder it before reading further.

This is Christianity in a nutshell:

• God created us in His image to live with Him in paradise.
• We screwed up and He kicked us out.
• God taught us how fruitless it is to try fixing the relational fracture on our own.
• He came to earth in human form to first, walk in our shoes to fully demonstrate empathy for our predicament (more on that next week), then second, to rescue us from it by showing us the way out of the pit into which we had fallen.
• We follow Him out of the pit and back into paradise. (He doesn't just know the way ... He IS the way)

In the diagram above, we see our relationship with Him unfolding 4 possible ways:

1. WIN/LOSE … God’s justice is satisfied (He wins) and we are condemned for violating his rules (we lose). God is a bully in this scenario and just sends everyone to hell.
2. LOSE/LOSE … God’s apathy about the whole thing drives Him away from us, leaving us to figure out things on our own. He gets no satisfaction for having His justice violated (He loses) and we permanently lose our relationship with Him (we lose). God simply doesn’t care in this scenario.
3. LOSE/WIN … God’s love is so strong that he simply overlooks our sins and sets aside the fact that His justice was violated (He loses). Everyone gets to go to heaven (we win).
4. WIN/WIN … God’s justice is perfect and His integrity will not allow Him to simply overlook our sins, so judgment is passed and the penalty must be paid (He wins). At the same time, His love for us is infinite that He can’t bear the thought of us spending eternity apart from Him, so He lets us off the hook and declares us innocent by taking our place and paying the penalty for us (we win).                 BUT … and this next part is where we come in … we simply agree and tell God, “Yes, please – thank you … I accept those terms.”  If we don’t do that or can’t agree to that, then God declares, NO DEAL.

I don’t know if you are familiar with Christianity or if what you just read is the first time you have ever heard this … but this is what Christians refer to as “The Good News.” Think about it … God does all the work while we are the recipients of extraordinary benefits. Who in their right minds would say NO to this?

Well, I guess it isn’t about being in a right mind as much as it is simply accepting, on faith, that such a “free lunch” could possibly exist. The cynic in us says, “Hang on … what’s the catch?   When does the other shoe fall?  What’s in it for God? Why would He do this?” It’s called love … not a warm fuzzy feeling … rather, it is an intentional choice to make a completely selfless act of kindness (as opposed to a random act of kindness … this is not random at all). The Godly kind of love is a relentless unconditional effort to pursue the benefits and advantages of others. This is so rare to experience that it is seldom accepted without suspicion or skepticism.

If nothing else my hope is that you never again use the expression WIN:WIN without realizing that the origin of the paradigm is one that includes the NO-DEAL scenario and that it is a mindset that drives you to do all the heavy lifting in the negotiation in order to guarantee that the other person is just as guaranteed their win as you are yours.

One question before I leave you:

What is the only true way to know what the other person wants or what the other person defines as their win?

This is where we pick up next week as we look at Habit # 5.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"