CHANGE: Practice - Learning to Speak Elephant

Welcome back Viphilus*

If you’re new to this blog or you don’t remember the elephant-rider analogy that I've been using then take a trip back to the posts on March 16 and March 23. Let me recap it though to keep this post complete. In short, the rider is your conscious mind and the elephant is your subconscious mind. The rider is principled, noble and wants to do and be good. The elephant is lazy, pleasure-seeking and pain-avoiding (completely indolent) and is only out for himself. This creates a virtual civil war inside of us as our brain is divided on intent.

Oh yeah … a few others things that are REALLY important before we go on. 

1. The rider tires easily while the elephant seems endlessly energized.
2. The elephant wants pleasure NOW, and he wants to avoid pain NOW.
3. The elephant spooks easily at change … any kind of change.

This pleasure-NOW, no-pain-NOW nature within all of us creates the urgency paradigm that we looked at back in March. The elephant has all the power - this is the principle we need to understand; all that remains is to teach the rider how to train his elephant. Self-awareness/knowledge is about getting to know and understand your rider and your elephant. Self-management is teaching your rider how to train your elephant. Emotional intelligence then is the art of elephant training …and the first step in that training is for the rider to learn to understand and speak elephant in order to influence him: to get your idea or message into his head.

Before we try to recreate the wheel, let me highlight some work that has already been done on this. Let’s start with ancient Greeks. Rhetoric was an art developed by the Greek philosophers around 600 BC. This art had the goal of persuading people (individual, audience, etc), convincing them to act, to pass judgment or to identify with given values. Plato described rhetoric as the “art of enchanting the soul.”  According to the Greeks, this art has 3 distinct components (the Greeks loved breaking things down into their constituent parts):

Credibility (ethos – from which we get the word, “ethics”)
Emotion (pathos)
Logic (logos)

Here’s what it all means. Before someone will listen to you and allow you to influence them they must find you to be credible, you must have a logical argument, and that argument must align with them emotionally. The Greeks also stressed practice and training in this art in order to master it.

The next work I want to cite is considerably more modern … albeit still 80 years old. Dale Carnegie wrote on the topic of “influence” and his 1936 book became one of the best-selling self-help books of all time: “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Carnegie’s book is essentially a manual on how to speak to other people's elephants.

If you are trying to influence someone to change their mind … or even yourself to change your own mind … you need to speak directly with the elephant. His language is the language of emotions. Sure, he does care about credibility and logic … but only AFTER his emotions are settled down so he can even consider the other two. And when it comes to change, the overarching emotion to address is fear (of the unknown) because change suggests a different future, and in that future there may be more pain and/or less pleasure. The elephant won’t stand for that … unless he can CLEARLY see that if the change does not happen, the pain will be even greater and/or the pleasure will be even less.

Is this starting to make sense now? Change truth # 3 (June 8 post) is that change in us is always emotional. That’s because the elephant gets riled when he senses that something/anything will potentially thwart pleasure or introduce pain. This is why the Heath brothers, in their book: SWITCH (all about change) highlight the importance of speaking to the elephant (our own if we are trying to convince ourselves to make a change … or other people’s elephants if we are trying to introduce change into their world). Remember, when you are thinking consciously about something and when you are determining to do something or not do something ... that's the Rider doing that thinking. He is very logical and knows right from wrong. The problem is he tries to convince the elephant (the subconscious automated part of you) by using logic. He thinks that Plato himself would be proud of his unassailable arguments and that the elephant would be easily convinced. Well, Plato would shake his head and tell you, "Hey dummy ... why are you speaking 'rider' to an 'elephant' ... he only understands 'elephant' so maybe you better ditch the 'rider language' and learn to speak 'elephant.'

'Elephant' is synonymous with "emotional." The rider's logic must be couched initially in emotional terms that answer the question: “what’s in it for me?” Any other approach is almost always doomed from the outset. Save the fancy Aristotelian logic for arriving at your reasons for the change. When it comes to getting the subconscious onside (or other people's elephants), your primary target is emotional alignment.

Let’s go back to Dale Carnegie’s brilliant book. Below I have listed the 4 sections in the book along with the chapter titles. Take a look at each title and see if, from the title alone, you can identify for each chapter whether the topic is about establishing credibility (C), appealing to logic (L), or appealing to a person's emotions to get alignment (E). Put a C, L or E besides each one below then get a count for each letter (C, L or E) after you have completed the list.

1. Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1 - "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."

2 - "Give honest and sincere appreciation."

3 - "Arouse in the other person an eager want."

2. Six Ways to Make People Like You

1 - "Become genuinely interested in other people."

2 - "Smile."

3 - "Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

4 - "Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves."

5 - "Talk in the terms of the other man's interest."

6 - "Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely."

3. Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1 - "Avoid arguments."

2 - "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong."

3 - "If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."

4 - "Begin in a friendly way."

5 - "Start with questions the other person will answer yes to."

6 - "Let the other person do the talking."

7 - "Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers."

8 - "Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view."

9 - "Sympathize with the other person."

10 - "Appeal to noble motives."

11 - "Dramatize your ideas."

12 - "Throw down a challenge."

4. Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

1 - "Begin with praise and honest appreciation."

2 - "Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly."

3 - "Talk about your own mistakes first."

4 - "Ask questions instead of giving direct orders."

5 - "Let the other person save face."

6 - "Praise every improvement."

7 - "Give them a fine reputation to live up to."

8 - "Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct."

9 - "Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest."

What was your count? Did you get a vast majority with the letter E? If you didn’t, go back and think about them again because most of them are actions to create emotional alignment. Carnegie understood very well that you will never convince anyone to change until you first remove their emotional obstacles. Until you take the emotional objections off the table the elephant won’t budge … and the rider has no power whatsoever to move him. All the convincing arguments in the world won’t make a wiff of a difference.

Same goes for convincing yourself to change … if you don’t address your own emotional resistance your elephant won’t budge. But when you speak to him gently, letting him know that you aren’t judging him (don’t beat yourself up), and letting him know what’s in it for him (your deep reason why change is essential), and that you are going to do everything possible to make the transition journey easier for him (by making the path as easy as possible for yourself) … well, the elephant might just start lumbering slowly in the direction that the rider wants him to go (meaning, you will stop self-sabotaging).

Next week is the 5^th Monday this month so we’ll take a break … but when we come back in July I want to dig deeply into the actual training of your elephant so that he and your rider are working together (which will mark the beginning of the end of the self-limiting, self-defeating and self-destructive behaviour within you).

See you in two weeks.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

CHANGE: Personal - Are You a Hammer or a Nail?

Welcome back Viphilus*

Let’s begin where I left off last week … with the prime directive:

Control the change process within you - because you can

Your reaction to that statement will depend on which kind of person you currently are. And in this context, there are only two kinds: Hammers and Nails.

Hammers are people who proactively take charge of their mind and emotions, using them to dictate their circumstances. They are tactical in using their natural fight and flight responses to their advantage.

Nails are people who react to life and let it control their mind and emotions, and are controlled by their circumstances. They use their natural fight and flight responses inappropriately, usually to their detriment.

I’m clearly being reductionistic here because you can never break people into two cleanly divided groups … people fall in a spectrum. What I’m describing are the polar opposites in this spectrum. Let me continue then with an idealistic description of these polar using words that are more familiar; Nails are pessimists while Hammers are optimists. (important note: while all Hammers are optimists, not all optimists are Hammers.) And their orientation or temperament on this particular spectrum really comes down to whether or not they feel they have control … or even a sense of control. For the most part, pessimists believe they have no control … optimists believe they do. And here’s the kicker … the control doesn’t even have to be real … it’s completely about the perception of control.

Since we are all familiar with the terms optimist and pessimist, let's explore them a bit more thoroughly to see if we all share the same understanding of these two particular orientations.

Optimism and Pessimism

Optimism, and its counterpart, pessimism, are attitudes of interpretation. One dictionary defines optimism as “a disposition or tendency to look on the more favourable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favourable outcome.” The traditional metaphor for characterizing this attitude is a glass that holds half its capacity of water; optimists interpret the glass as half-full, pessimists interpret it as half-empty. Pessimists defend their attitude as being more realistic; optimists believe in the value of being hopeful. Just as a glass that holds half its capacity is no more half-full than half-empty, an optimistic perspective isn’t any more truthful than a pessimistic one. So why does the attitude matter?

The Value of Pessimism

Pessimists are oriented towards an expectation of failure which aids them in protecting themselves from disappointment. They manage their expectations in a mitigative manner by lowering their expectations of almost everything. In the Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz write, “from an energy perspective it is easy to be negative; optimism requires courage, not just because life is finite, but also because we all inevitably face challenges, obstacles, and setbacks along the way.” As well, the perennially hopeful attitude of optimists is often a naïve Pollyanna heartset that blinds itself to reality and sets them up for disappointment. Therefore, pessimism seems like the safer emotional bet. In fact, pessimism is the default attitude when optimism isn’t intentionally chosen. On the surface this seems like a good strategy for managing expectations.

But this strategy, conscious or not, comes with a greater cost than benefit. Everyone knows how it feels to be around a relentlessly pessimistic person; they radiate negative energy and nobody wants to be around them. That alone might seem like a sufficient reason to choose to be optimistic, but there is an even better reason; your performance in life is greatly dictated by whether you are an optimist or a pessimist; performance is greatly enhanced by optimism.

The Greater Value of Optimism

Experts in human performance have shown that optimists have an orientation towards an expectation of success … a preferred attitude in order to actually produce success. However, optimism must be anchored in reality, focused by results, and fuelled by deep core beliefs. Loehr and Schwartz write, “to be effective in the world, we find a balance between looking honestly at the most painful truths and contradictions in our lives and engaging in the world with hope and positive energy.”

Pessimists remain inactive and seldom leave their comfort zone because of a scarcity mentality. Optimists inherently are risk-takers and are driven more by an abundance mentality. An optimistic viewpoint is more energizing and empowering; optimism leads to action whereas pessimism typically leads to paralysis. It is an optimistic attitude that drives persistence. Again, Loehr and Schwartz write, “anything that prompts appropriate focus and realistic optimism serves performance.” They continue that “realistic optimism is a paradoxical notion that implies seeing the world as it is, but always working positively toward a desired outcome or solution.” As well, “when it comes to the everyday challenges of performance, the energy of negative thinking is almost invariably undermining and counterproductive. Realistic optimism better serves the challenges we face.”

Look at the graphic and, from the discussion we just had, see if you can track through the logic (I’m hoping that it is self-evident).

Again, this is reductionistic and idealized, but it makes an important point … those who say they can and those who say they can’t are usually both right.

Let’s dig a little deeper. In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey teaches about the link between our influence on the world around us and how we focus our energy. He says that we each have a wide range of concerns such as health, children, problems at work, national debt, global warming, world wars, etc. These we separate from the things for which we have no particular mental or emotional involvement by creating a “Circle of Concern.”

As we look within our Circle of Concern it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control while there are others that we can do something about. The latter ones we can capture in another circle that he calls, “The Circle of Influence.”

The point of his teaching is that when we put a lot of mental or emotional energy simply into the things that concern us, we run the risk of negatively impacting ourselves because many of those things may fall outside of our circle of influence.  Why is that negative? Because when we lose control over things that matter to us we become anxious … and anxiety diminishes us and drains our energy. The famous “serenity prayer,” teaches us to courageously put our energies into the things over which we have influence and to serenely accept the things over which we have no influence.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Covey’s concept of the Circles of Concern and Influence is a modern day reworking of that prayer, but with a deeper insight into the results of such an attitude. When we courageously focus our energies, with discipline, into the concerns over which we have some influence, that effort expands our influence and we actually make a difference. It also energizes us. An optimist directed by this strategy can usher change into the world around him. Pessimists, on the other hand, are equally caring people, who may have an even larger circle of concern. However, their negative and hopeless attitude about results and outcomes prevents them from proactively investing their energies in any strategic way because they do not see their actions having a positive impact. The result is a self-fulfilling downward spiral of negativity; their efforts bear no results, justifying their negative attitude. It also depletes their energy as well as diminishing their circle of influence even further.

Tactically, this needs to be taken one step further because the Circle of Influence likely contains more things and people than a person can commit to influencing. We are finite and have limited energy. High performers choose to focus their energy into narrow streams. In this light, I appreciate the way the University of Texas (San Antonio campus) Health Science Center expands on Covey’s circles by adding a third one … a “circle of commitment.”  This is the practice of highly effective people … to intentionally focus their limited energies to have the greatest realized-influence.

If you are on the pessimistic end of the spectrum then here are four insights that the optimists instinctively know … reasons for perhaps choosing optimism, if you can:

1. Optimism is synonymous with hope.
2. Optimism creates an abundance mentality and powers performance.
3. Optimism drives persistence and enables results.
4. People prefer being around optimists; pessimists are not fun to be around.

Final Word for Christians (but all are welcome to read it)

To be optimistic means to be intentionally oriented towards results. Results-based optimism provides an inner target and mission to keep a person working towards goals and outcomes. Because the results are internally held, the emotional resolve to achieve the results is more readily sustainable because it is not imposed from the outside.

We Christians, however, are taught that we should not strive towards human goals but towards heavenly goals. “Seek first His Kingdom, and His righteousness …” is the admonition of Jesus … “and all these (other) things will be added as well.” We are also taught to work hard towards every enterprise to which we give our heart, but do it all as if we were doing it for God Himself. Herein, then, lies the tension that must be maintained … we must make sure that our hearts are oriented not just towards results … but towards God’s results. This may present itself as a contradiction, but it is an essential tension that must be maintained and managed.

An old saying teaches us to, “work as if it all depended on you but pray as if it all depended on God.” This takes an almost divided mind to be able to maintain effort and focus with apparently two opposing and driving emotions. But the mature Christian knows of the importance of maintaining balance despite the tension of these seemingly opposing perspectives. We are to strive, optimistically (hopefully) towards outcomes … but not be disappointed if the results differ from our expectations, because it is only God who can truly measure the success of our efforts and mission. This doesn’t mean that we don’t set human goals and strive for human results. We must! But the mature Christian establishes these under the authority and purpose of God and his/her emotional state is not determined by those outcomes.

I am not simply an optimist. I prefer to think of myself as a results/faith-based optimist. Optimism is a powerful mental state that is born out of choice; YOU CHOOSE your attitude.

Choose optimism!

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

CHANGE: Principles – 5 truths about change

Welcome back Viphilus*

First, let’s close take care of some unfinished business … the answers to last week’s question.

The story of ugly reaction to change was the story about my Dad. He never adapted and it made the rest of his life terrible. Despite what pithy bumper stickers might suggest, that which doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger. It depends on what you do (and don’t do) with it.

The story of bad reaction to change was the story of me being re-assigned to an HR project. I eventually adapted but not until I had ruined Christmas for my family … something that didn’t need to happen. If I had been more adaptable or better able to manage (contain) my emotional reaction there would have been virtually no collateral damage. {the fact that it turned out very happily in the long run is moot … because that was only known after-the-fact … I needed to manage my reactions before I knew what the outcome might be}.

The story of the good reaction to change was the one about my new laptop. Sure, it took me a couple weeks to make up my mind to adapt, but there was no collateral damage and I self-corrected on my own … without an attitudinal adjustment from my loving wife.

OK, so there are some realities about truth that are incontrovertible. We can deny them and pretend that they aren’t true, but then we just make life long and hard. Life is hard enough when we know and face the truth … denial helps nothing. Accordingly I’d like to set forth 5 truths … 5 principles about change that are enlightening and can dramatically change the course of our life once we accept them.

Change Truth # 1 – Change is inevitable – it WILL happen

Go ahead. Say it. DUH!

I didn’t say that these truths would be earth-shatteringly new. Change is inevitable. We can trace an appreciation of this back thousands of years. One of the clearest and most succinct statements came from Heraclitus around 500 B.C. when he said, “The only thing that remains unchanged is change.”

It is the nature of the universe, and everything in it, to change … so an important skill to develop in becoming mature is to expect change (this way, you can better prepare for it).

Change Truth # 2 – Response to Change Is Personal

Since every person is unique, their response to change (stress, in general) is also unique. It is impossible to predict how specific changes will affect other people, except what we know from Truth # 3. There are times when we are tempted to judge someone else’s lack of adaptability regarding a specific issue, but here’s the thing … that is wrong (or at least, inappropriate).

Things that bother me don’t bother you … and vice versa. Chalk that up to different temperaments, different life experiences, different cultures and social customs, different … whatever. We may be tempted to mock whiners with the declaration, “First world problems!” when we hear them complain about the same thing that less privileged people might celebrate. And we may be justified … but be cautious … you likely do the same thing. The reality is that we each react to change differently so it’s quite unedifying to even comment on someone else’s adaptive capacity … unless of course they recognize they are being selfish or childish or foolish and are asking for your help or perspective.

Change Truth # 3 – Response to Change Is Always Emotional

“Change? I like change,” you might say. Chances are that what you likely mean is that you like variety. Change … at least the kind I’m talking about … is when something new is imposed on you.

Under those conditions, your response is always emotional. Always! You can’t help it. I’m not saying that you explode in rage, break down in tears, halt in fear or become numb in shock. I simply mean that your immediate reaction will be one that is emotional rather than rational. The specifics of type and intensity of emotion depends on a host of things … but the truth remains that it WILL BE EMOTIONAL.

Perhaps you believe that you are a person who is self-aware and able to recognize your emotions as they are happening in you. Great! The bad news is that that is true for only one in three of you.  Other social science data tells us that only 1 out of 4 people are not controlled by their emotions (if you are in a room with three other people and you know for a fact that one of them is very well managed regarding their emotions … well then, chances are likely that you and the other two people aren’t so well managed).

Why all this matters is that logical or rational solutions for dealing with change cannot be addressed until the emotional questions are first answered (“what’s in this for me?”   “how can I be certain that I will be OK?”    etc.)  If you are trying to help another person (or an organization) move through the transition of a real or imminent change, you are simply wasting your efforts (and likely making things worse) if you proceed first with logic and rational reasons. People need to be “settled down” first to get that sense that things will be OK. Then, and only then, can the change be dealt with effectively in a way that strengthens rather than weakens them.

Change Truth # 4 – Change Is an External Event … Our Response Is an Internal Process

Change inside a person is not a simple flip of a switch. It is an ongoing process that must be managed and monitored. This process is called transition … and we need to spend just as much time reinforcing change as implementing it.

I started out today to say that in my story about my career-shift, I simply “flipped the little switch in my head.” What I didn’t explain was that this switch was put in place with a lot of training … training to take a mental journey proactively so that the result is seeing myself in a very positive place regarding the change when the journey is over.

The graphic here gives an idealized outline of what a person experiences (emotionally) when they go through change. It’s virtually the same “curve” that you might have seen or referred to as the “grief cycle.” The reason that they are the same is that change evokes in us the sensation that we are going to lose something  … and grief is the result of loss. The loss doesn’t even have to be real before the body starts secreting reactive hormones (adrenalin – cortisol … and other stress hormones).  Typical emotions or conditions include:

• Denial quadrant – denial, shock, anger
• Resistance quadrant – anger, frustration, depression, ambivalence
• Exploration quadrant – skepticism, acceptance, importance, hope
• Commitment quadrant – understanding, enthusiasm, commitment

Change vs Transition

Change is inevitable and necessary   BUT  Transition is optional (and also necessary).

Change is a shift in external circumstances   BUT   Transition is an internal psychological reorientation to acceptably expand the comfort zone to accept the new reality.

Change is focused on results and outcomes   BUT  Transition is an inner experience that is not focused on results.

Transition is usually what people resist, not the change.

What we all have in common is that for every change, we go through a transition.

We resist giving up our sense of who we are: our identity as it is expressed in our current situation. We resist the chaos and uncertainty of the neutral zone - the in-between state. We resist the risky business of a new beginning - doing and being what we have never done and been before.

In order to effect change it is important to help people through the transition.

The difference between us as individuals is the speed at which we go through transition.

Change Truth # 5 – We Can Control Transition – the Internal Process in Us

The difference between people who adapt well and those who don’t can be explained by the difference between how they chose to take charge of the internal process of transition. First let’s look at the technical elements of that process that can be managed by recognizing that every successful change in an individual or group can be seen as 5 distinct but linked steps … something I learned in my formal training to be a change-management practitioner. It’s called the ADKAR model:

Awareness – I know that I need to change

Desire – I want to change

Knowledge – I know how to change

Ability – I am skilled at making change a reality

Reinforcement – I can sustain the change

I want to conclude this week with a Prime Directive borne out of Truth # 5....

PRIME DIRECTIVE

Control the change process within you - because you can

Next week I want to look at this prime directive in greater depth and discuss what we can intentionally do to bring us through change in order to thrive and not just survive.

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

OCA Training

* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

CHANGE: The Good, Bad and Ugly - A Perspective

Welcome back Viphilus*

This month I want to talk about change. My goal is to help you think differently (better) about change if change is something that you don’t like. Let me cite a few of my favourite quotes regarding change:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”  ~  Charles Darwin

“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.”   ~Georg C. Lichtenberg

“Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.”  ~ Sydney J. Harris

“If something is not to your liking, change your liking.”  ~ Patricia Ryan Madson

“There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.”   ~ German proverb

“When it becomes more difficult to suffer than to change... you will change.”  ~ Robert Anthony

“He who rejects change is the architect of decay.” ~ Harold Wilson

First let me be transparent. I don’t like change. I have proven to myself time and time again that change can be a powerfully good thing … but I still don’t like it. Just sayin’.

I want to set the stage for our discussions over the next few weeks by sharing a perspective that I’ve developed which comes out of three different stories from my life.

Story # 1

Back in the late 90s I was a marine meteorologist who also specialized in hurricane forecasting for the mid-latitudes. I had been one of a small handful of forecasters who had been specially trained in the 80s to deal with tropical cyclones that might affect eastern Canada. As the dozen years transpired between my initial training and the time of this story, I had become one of the primary people who did media interviews related to hurricanes, I made sure that annual reports were being written for the Canadian Hurricane Centre (CHC) and I just seemed to be one of the main couple of people that folks went to on such issues.

I was at a Christmas party with a few dozen colleagues when someone approached me and asked, “what did you do to piss off **** (the director)?” I had no idea and asked why he asked. He told me that he had just learned in a separate conversation with the director on the other side of the room that he was going to assign me to work on the inter-branch team that was working on the new classification reform project called U.C.S. (a federal-government-wide initiative). The assignment was going to be for about a year and a half.

I wanted to throw up. What kind of a Christmas present was this? What did I know about H.R. stuff? How could he do this to me? Hadn’t he been reading the comments that I had been putting on my annual performance evaluation where they asked me my desires and intentions over the next five years? (I had written on one of them that it was my goal to become “The King of the CHC!”)  Moving me out of meteorology and away from hurricane forecasting would kill any chance of “career” development. That was it. My career was over. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream.

Over the next few weeks (which included Christmas and New Years) I moped around like I was on death row. I completely ruined Christmas for my family because of my bad attitude. I was like a toxic waste dump … anyone who came near me was at risk of being infected.

Somewhere in the first week of January when I had been into the assignment for only a couple days, my wonderful wife sat me down (no, she didn’t sit down with me … she SAT ME DOWN) to offer some sage advice … and gave me an emotional cuff upside the head. Her attitudinal-adjustment speech went something like this. “Look … why don’t you just do with this like you do with everything else … make this a point of purpose for yourself … you know, just flip that little switch in your head and embrace this. If you just go out there and be the best HR classification expert that the world has ever seen I bet you’ll really enjoy it.:

Of course she was right. So I flipped that little switch … and embarked on one of the most professionally satisfying 18 months of my career. In the process I go to know every manager and director in Environment Canada’s Atlantic region, and got to meet virtually every one of the 300 employees across the 4 provinces. Until this assignment I might have known 20% of the people.

Story # 2

Mom and Dad dancing

My dad was a corporal with the Ontario Provincial Police; he worked as a communications officer at HQ in Toronto. The main tool of his trade was a teletype machine. I swear, the man could type 80-100 wpm using his 2-finger hunt ‘n peck  approach (there was no power-assist on those keys either … those suckers needed about 200-lbs of force per key). He was always at the centre of all real-time intelligence-sharing between detachments and other policing agencies, including federal and international.

His world changed in the late 70s when they took away his main tool and replaced it with a new one: a computer. My dad was not able to adapt. From what followed and my reflection on it in the years that have followed, I realize that my dad had always been unable to adapt. He wasn’t change-resistant … he simply avoided change at all cost. And the cost was very high, on him and our family.

To make a long and brutally sad story short, he left work on medical leave and spent the rest of his days in seclusion. He died in 1984 of a heart attack … but the last half dozen years were not pretty. The change at work created a fracture in him that never repaired. He had a psychotic break and essentially lived out his days clinically insane. He wasn’t a danger to others but simply retreated into a delusional shell that nobody could intervene or “change.”

Story # 3

I retired from Environment Canada in December 2012, which meant one thing … I no longer had a laptop or a cell phone (did you know that when you retire they make you turn that stuff back in? – go figure eh).

My wife, Deb, bought me a new laptop for Christmas which ran on a Windows 8 operating system.  Harumph!  I was an XP guy.  The laptop was cool though … oodles more power and memory and speed and features. But it wasn’t XP. No worries, I could learn. I opened it up, turned it on, saw the Windows 8 screen, which didn’t allow me to do anything intuitively (based on XP-style intuition) … and then shut it down and put it back in the box … where it sat for 2-3 weeks. Deb’s feelings weren’t hurt … she knew that I’d get to it when I was ready (she’s the techno-queen in our little world so she also knew that when I got stuck trying to figure it out she could help me).

Being forced to use only my desktop computer (which was old) I decided I needed to get past my learning-curve issues and just make the effort. Within a day I discovered that it wasn’t so bad after all … it was just different. Over the coming days, weeks and months I kept discovering new functionality as I explored.

Good?  Bad?  Ugly?

OK, I’ve told you three personal stories. In my own assessment on what I understand about change, I am going to rank these stories as being good, bad and ugly: but not necessarily in the order that I told them.

Before next week see if you can determine which of those stories was an example of GOOD adaptability? Which story was a story of BAD adaptability? And which story was just UGLY?

I hope to see you back next Monday.

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

PS…. Regarding story # 1 … when I returned to the CHC after the HR assignment my manager said that they wanted to create a Program Manager position for the CHC. Since I was the most senior hurricane forecaster who had invested more in that program than anyone else I likely had the best idea about what such a position might look like. Also, since I had this new training on how to write work-descriptions according to the new classification model, she asked if I could draft a work-description and statement of requirements for the job for her as a starting point. Of course I agreed. When the job was eventually posted for hiring I applied for it. I was later called into the HR director’s office where he and my manager told me that I was the only applicant and that they were simply appointing me in the position. Turned out that nobody else applied because they felt they didn’t stand a chance against the guy who had written the job description. Turned out that that “career ending” assignment actually made my desired career possible. I wished that I knew at that Christmas party what I know now … that change can sometimes be the only painful path to success.

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* Viphilus means, "lover of life"

PRIME MOVERS – Being Passionate

Welcome back Viphilus*

Leadership guru, John Maxwell, said, “Nothing of significance was ever accomplished without passion.”

After spending more than thirty years in public service and serving in the local church for almost forty years, I feel confident in saying, “Maxwell is right.” So let’s talk about passion. Better yet … let’s talk about what we can do in ourselves to help ignite passion. After all, passion is the deepest energy behind accomplishment.

What is passion?

Dictionaries offer some definitions. Passion is:

-       a strong positive affinity or love for something or someone;

-       a lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity or love;

-       a feeling of unusual excitement, enthusiasm or intense, compelling emotion towards a subject, idea, person or object.

These definitions make passion sound like emotional energy, but I’m convinced that it goes deeper to something intrinsic …something triggered at the depth of the spirit. Passion is a rich form of personal and intentional energy that comes in three dimensions, each deserving a separate conversation.

Passion from Purpose Lights Us Up

Give people a purpose or mission and there’s nothing they can’t accomplish! And that jazzes us … all of us. Purpose is activation energy; it gets us up in the morning and energizes us through the day. Helen Keller reminded us that without it, life is joyless: “happiness comes from fidelity to a worthy purpose.” So it isn't just purpose, but the kind of purpose that benefits someone beyond you.

I’ve already written about the importance of purpose a couple of times in this blog, but I cannot overstate it. Purpose creates passion and life isn't worth living without passion. And while I have made it clear that I’m a Christian, it is clear that the power of purpose transcends religion, as evidenced by the following quotes … one from a theologian and one from an atheist philosopher:

William Barclay (Christian theologian) said, “There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.”

Frederich Nietzsche (atheist philosopher) said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

Purpose-driven passion answers the question of why we do what we do.

Amongst the most satisfying times in my life have been when I've been involved with a team on an intense and focused mission. We all knew what we had to do and, for the duration of the mission, the mission itself almost seemed to define everyone’s raison d’être. 

I often worry for those who retire that they’ll lose their reason to get up each morning and that they will lose their sense of identity (which is very linked to the purpose motive). I have the same concern for young people. You can have a job to go to, but if it’s not clear to you what you’re doing and WHY, even the best job becomes a drudgery that drains your energy rather than rejuvenating you. {Managers pay attention: if your employees don't fully understand what you expect them to do, it is your fault if they are disengaged. You are guilty of managerial malpractice}. 

One fact worth pondering; religious people find it easier to see purpose, and therefore, generate passion within themselves. Why do you think that is?

A WISE ACTION: if the purpose of your job isn't clear, seek clarity; in absence of finding it, create it yourself (don't be a victim to a bad manager). Better yet, create meaning for yourself in all that you do.

Passion from Strengths Brighten the Light

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “The person born with a talent they are meant to use will find their greatest happiness in using it.” Sadly, most people live with artificial limitations in their lives which form ceilings to keep them from rising to their potential. A big part of that potential is defined by our strengths: things that energize us when we do them (in contrast to the traditional definition of strengths which are simply things we do well).

I briefly referenced this perspective on strengths and weaknesses last month when talking about P.I.E. I want to give it a fuller treatment today. From the time you were a child you knew that you were good at certain things, you enjoyed doing certain things, and certain things literally seemed to energize you. There were also things which you knew drained you. As you grew older you became aware that spending a lot of time with people also either energized or drained you, to varying degrees (this describes the different ends of the extrovert-introvert spectrum). An important part of being fully engaged in life is to intentionally spend time doing things that energize you. This does NOT mean that you are to become irresponsible and shun those things which drain you … that wouldn't be living in the real world. What it DOES mean is that you must become sufficiently self-aware that you know how to fill your emotional tank by making sure that some part of each day … or certainly each week … has activities which strengthen you.

Marcus Buckingham defines “a strength” differently from most. “A strength,” he says, “isn't just something which you re good at … it is something which strengthens you when you do it.”  He gives examples of things at which you may excel, but which actually drain you; these are tasks which the responsible person has to do. There are also things which you may not be very good at, but which actually energize you; these, he whimsically muses, are hobbies. But there are those things which are true strengths which make you feel good when you participate in them, they increase your internal energy because it is effortless to do them, and you get better at them with time because you were literally made to do them.

Forgive the nerdy analogy but this is like “cold fusion”; you get more energy out than what you put in. I know that when I do work that plays to my strengths and avoids my weaknesses (things that drain me when I do them, even if I’m pretty good at doing them) I accomplish far more and feel more energized when I’m done!

A WISE ACTION: don’t be a square peg in a round hole … find or create opportunities to work in areas of your strengths at least 15% of the time; amazingly, it will energize you for the rest of your work. Really!

Passion from Callings Set Us Ablaze

I've been a keen people observer for decades and have come to a conclusion; paradoxically, the one thing we all share in common is that we each are unique. Previously, I linked uniqueness to our strengths. When those strengths are applied to a purpose that benefits others beyond ourselves, the inner light gets very bright and we come alive.

Now let me share my best wisdom on this by taking it one step further. Rather than a generic purpose, what if it’s a purpose that seems custom-made for you? This helps distinguish an occupation from a vocation. An occupation is something you choose, whereas, a vocation is something that chooses you. A vocation (from the word, “vocal”) is a “calling” and something that you feel compelled to do. In fact, it drains you (or even crushes you) if you don’t do it. If unsatisfied, a calling becomes an inner state of angst that rises up from within, signalling that there is a specific mission you've been “called” to but are ignoring. Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Community Church describes the inner angst that comes from resisting called-purpose as a “holy discontent.” He believes this comes from resisting what God may be asking you to do. Having experienced this myself I agree with Pastor Hybels.

It is in this context that we are finally getting to the original meaning of the word passion. Our English word, passion, originates from the Latin word, patior, meaning to suffer or to endure. People endure hardships with passion and conviction for seemingly incomprehensible reasons, because those reasons reside in the core of their spirit (maybe the expression, "the passion of the Christ," finally makes sense to you in this moment). To resist such a calling crushes the spirit because it is working against called-purpose. To fight the inner calling of passion is debilitating and disorienting and renders most other things to be of little importance.

This is a lesson I learned only in the last decade, and it has progressively become my wisdom. My time as a meteorologist with Environment Canada, especially the decade that I served with the Canadian Hurricane Centre, was exceptionally rewarding. I almost always had a clear sense of my purpose, whether it was a daily challenge, a weekly crusade, or a seasonal mission. I also had great managers and directors who were savvy enough to put me to work according to my strengths.

But it was never a vocation. I wasn't called to do it. As for the man who replaced me? Now he was called to do it. From the time he was a young child he “knew” he was meant to be a meteorologist. It’s like he was created for the job. I believe that he was. For years I was known as “the hurricane guy”; that was my occupation. In my final five years I found what I was made to do and in the process became known as “the life balance guy.” I found my calling. I was made for what I’m doing now. That light inside me is like a raging fire. Although I’m retired from public service my passion has never been so ablaze. Clearly, I must keep doing what I’m doing.

Caution: you might not discover your calling just by looking for it. I think that's fine. In fact, it might be necessary that you gain other experiences or training in your time of preparation for when you do discover it. Don't be bummed out if you don't know what you were made to do ... there's still a lot to do that will fill you with passion until your calling is clear.

A WISE ACTION: my best wisdom on this is to discover what you were made to do and DO IT! But until then, purpose-driven strengths-focused work can make for a great first career and a great life.

Closing the Loop

Let's take a final look at the basic needs that I've been writing about this month (someday I may tackle writing a book just on this diagram because there is soooooooooo much to learn from it.)

The Power to Rise Above the Animal in Us – Some Conclusions

From the previous two blog posts I showed that animal needs and human needs work in a completely opposite sense from each other. Animal needs, or “needs of deficiency,” motivate us to fill them when they STOP being met. On the other hand, human needs, or “needs of growth and being,” motivate us to fill them when they START being met.

Animal needs push or DRIVE us, whereas, human needs pull us inward towards inner development and growth. The deepest of all human needs … to connect to God and the thing(s) He wants you to do… is where the inward pull is strongest; it’s what I refer to as being “called” rather than pulled. This is PASSION at its greatest.

Now please pay attention to the point I made last week because it’s the punchline … and for you, this may be all you ever need to get from this blog:

Fulfilled human needs have the power to override our animal needs 

... and the deeper the human needs that are fulfilled, the greater this power!

Clarifying the Point

This blog is about “breaking the self-sabotaging blocks of self-limiting, self-defeating, and self-destructive thoughts and behaviours.” It’s about learning how to train your elephant (if you missed them you might want to check back on the Mar 16 and Mar23 posts).

The only path, I believe, to learning how to get out of the trappings of the superficial animal-needs levels is to intentionally engage yourself in the deeper human-needs levels. GO DEEP!  At the deepest spiritual level where God meets us, we find, in Him, the power to stop thinking and behaving like an animal … all the while letting the strength of that animal do our heaviest lifting for us. One of my favourite authors, Gordon MacDonald, wrote a powerful book in the 80s called, “Ordering Your Private World.” Through him, I learned the profound wisdom that life works much better when we choose to be CALLED rather than to be DRIVEN. The former sustainably rejuvenates while the latter is exhaustible and must be continually filled.

Now don't make the mistake that too many Christians make ... that all you need is faith in God to reach your full-potential and become a decent human-being. That's simply wrong and I can cite dozens of biblical passages that refute that thinking. There is still work that we have to do ... a lot of work ... but that work can only achieve the results we want when we partner with God in our deepest character development.

A great place to start is to do whatever you do with passion. If you can't pursue something with passion, then don’t bother doing it!

Blessings Viphilus,

Your friend, Omega Man

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* Viphilus means, "lover of life"